Lasting Friendships
by Mel J1701
Summary: Mac comes back after 11 years, will an accidental meeting with Harm give her a second chance?


****

Title: Lasting Friendships

****

Author: Mel (e-mail me at [**m.a.jooty@dundee.ac.uk**][1])

****

Disclaimer: The characters from JAG are the property of David Bellasario, CBS and Paramount and no profit has been made by my utilising them in my story. Everyone else is mine.

****

Rating: PG-13, some bad language but that's about it.

****

Pairings: Harm/Meg. Harm/Mac. Harriet/Bud. Brumby/Terri

****

Summery: Set in an alternate reality, where Mac did permanently leave JAG for Dalton. It is now eleven years later and she returns to Washington where, by chance, she meets up with Harm again in the hopes of rekindling their friendship and something more but will he let her or has the past been too much for him to make a future with her...?

****

Archiving: Okay, as long as my name stays on it and I'm informed about where it's being posted.

****

Author's Notes: This story is a little different from my others (in that it's 'nice') so tell me what you think so I can attempt other 'nice' stories.

****

Fanfic Webpage: jagweb.findhere.com

_______________________________________________________________________

****

JAG Headquarters

Falls Church, Washington, DC

1115 EST, April 16th, 1997

Lieutenant Commander Harmon Rabb stood nervously outside the office waiting for his best friend and partner to gather her belongings after tendering her resignation a few days earlier. He inwardly wished it wasn't going to be this way, to have to watch the woman he was closest to and was secretly in love with leave with a pompous, smug jerk like Dalton Lowne.

His thoughts were interrupted as Mac slowly walked from the JAG Building. He expected her to be carrying a box filled with all the trinkets that had once adorned in her office but he remembered she had cleared out her belongings the previous day. There's nothing like careful planning to rub salt in the wounds. She was glancing around, taking in one last look at the presidio before leaving for a new style of life.

Mac never pictured herself ever leaving the military, not in the eleven years she had served for her country both in war and in the courtroom but everything had to end one day. With Dalton, she had the chance to pursue cases that had once passed her by with the added bonus of possibly getting married in the near future and having children. Mac had never considered having children but watching Harm with young Josh Pendry the idea somehow appealed to her.

Of course, watching Harm with Josh also showed her that he belonged with Annie just as she belonged with Dalton. She kept telling herself that, hoping that there would come a time she would believe in it. It wasn't that she didn't love Dalton, it just was a different kind of love she felt for Harm. With her former partner, she felt secure in the knowledge he would always stand by her if ever she needed him, they could talk about anything together. But with Dalton it was like the man saw her like someone to take to parties, she wasn't a real equal.

However, it was time to end her fantasies about Harm once and for all. He wasn't ready for the kind of relationship she was seeking, he had too much unresolved business with his father to figure out. Mac just hoped Annie would be there for him when she could not be.

And there he was, the object of both her pain and happiness. Harm stood there, smiling slightly but she could see the grief in his azure blue eyes. God, those eyes could be so expressive at times, just the thought of staring into those beautiful blue orbs was almost enough for her to stay. But, no, she had to be mature and face the fact she couldn't have him…not any more. There was a man for her and he was coming to pick her up in a few minutes and take her to her new life.

Mac was worried when he wasn't inside the building. The thought of leaving without saying goodbye chilled her to the core but she knew him well enough to understand he would never allow that to happen.

"Trying to sneak away without saying goodbye, Major," he called with a smile that didn't reach his eyes.

She didn't think it would be so hard, she couldn't bring herself to say goodbye- to admit she was losing him. "I'd prefer good luck," she said, keeping neutral.

He swallowed. "Good luck, it's been a pleasure serving with you."

God, why? Why did he have to be so nice about this? Maybe it would have been better if he got mad and threw a tantrum. She couldn't cope with a sweet Harm any more than she could deny a squealing toddler a piece of candy. She felt- needed to apologise to him, redeem herself in some way…for what, she didn't know.

"Commander…" No, too formal and they had never stood on formality. "Harm, I know you probably feel betrayed and there's so many things I need to say to explain myself…" If she went into all the details they'd be here until the sun went down.

Harm saved her the trouble, he always did try to make things easier for her, discreetly protecting her without acting like a smothering mother hen. He deserved to be with Annie, she didn't have a murky past and the woman could support him in so many ways.

"No, you don't," he said. "It's okay, I understand. I might not like it but…I'm happy for you." His eyes said otherwise but she shut herself from his true feelings. "I mean, hell, it's not like you're going to Afghanistan. You're taking a job in Washington, right? We'll probably be fighting each other in court again next week."

She blinked back the tears that flooded her brown eyes. She hadn't told him, she hadn't told him Dalton was thinking of transferring out to start afresh in Florida, Miami to be exact. Miami- it might as well be Afghanistan.

Suddenly she couldn't do this any longer. She couldn't stand to watch him hurt because of her. She needed to keep some distance from him. Maybe in a month or two things would settle down and they would relax allowing Dalton to relax without feeling threatened by Harm. To do that she needed to put some temporary space between them.

Harm must have picked up on her anxiety for his brow furrowed in concern. "Mac, are you okay? What's wrong?"

She choked back tears and when she spoke her voice was barely audible. "Harm, I think it might be best to not call each other until we both settle into this. Contact would only make things worse for both of us and things are hard enough as it is. Just lay off for a little while, okay?"

Dalton's silver Porsche drew into the parking lot. She walked towards the car tossing him one last look.

"Don't call any time soon. Please, Harm, I need you to do this, Dalton and I need time to ourselves…at least until things have calmed down."

And he did exactly as she asked of him.

**********************************************************

****

Watford & Company Office

Miami, Florida

1040 EST, March 26th 2008

"Hey, Sarah, have you finished your closing speech for the Andreas case?"

Sarah Mackenzie sat in a trance cradling the small bundle of papers like it was a precious infant. Her best friend and fellow lawyer, Louise Mitchell, rolled her eyes at her mesmerised colleague knowing exactly what she was fixated on.

"Is that them?" she asked, both knowing what she was referring to.

"Yes," replied Mac, "I can't believe he finally signed them though."

Exactly ten years to the day Mac married Dalton Lowne, she was mailed the papers confirming their divorce. Their relationship was strong during the two years of marriage, which also marked their twenty-month anniversary of leaving Washington in favour of moving to Florida. But as time drew on, Mac tired of representing rich snots who probably did not have one decent bone in their bodies and so she joined the prestigious Watford & Company law firm that specialised in not only criminal law but family law. It felt so worthwhile representing disadvantaged children who otherwise would have been exploited.

Unfortunately, Dalton didn't agree and did not hesitate to tell her, pleading and demanding she return to his firm. That was a major turning point in their dying marriage. For seven years, Mac grudgingly put up with her husband's womanising, greed and moans until she finally had enough, filing for divorce when Dalton was caught with his bimbo secretary in _their_ bed. It took another year before he signed the paper thus granting her freedom. She was so relieved, there were only two good parts to their marriage; one was virtually ignored by Dalton and the other had left them three years ago, long after their relationship soured.

"That's great, Mac," enthused Louise, "you do know what that means? You're a free woman! Free of that two-timing loser, jerk, asshole. Back to singles ville." She smirked. "Let's go out tonight."

Mac sighed at her hyperactive friend. "Uh-uh, Lou, the only man is my life is Jacob and that's all I need. I've had my fill of men for the time being. I'm not looking for another Dalton."

"Don't be a bore, not all men are like that old bastard. Hey, I got a great friend who'd just love you."

"A 'great friend' like Konnor?"

"How was I to know Konnor had multiple personality disorder? Whenever I met him he was always in the same personality."

"Well, is this 'great friend' like Donald?"

"I can't help it if Donald's mother was his best friend."

"Not just his best friend, but his advisor, doctor, nurse, match maker and house mate. He was a fifty-year-old Mommy's Boy."

Louise sighed, seeing this was a dead-end conversation. "Okay, okay, no 'great friend' but you do need to start living again. Dalton's had another life for the past eight years and you need to start too. Work isn't everything. God, woman, you're becoming an obsessive compulsive."

At those words, Mac smiled wistfully reminiscing on a time when things were so different. There were occasions when she thought back to her years in the Marines, wondering how life would have turned out if she had stayed. She'd probably be a colonel or something, still helping Harm to find his long-gone father.

Harm…Where was he now? She spent quite a portion of her time wondering, thinking her a reply to that question at times. It was odd that after eleven years he still had a place in her heart in a way that Dalton never did. Did he ever think of her? Probably in that same obsessive category, that he included his father and every horrific case that came his way in.

"And that's another thing," stated Louise, "you're spending too much time thinking. You need to get out there, enjoy yourself. You're not on your death bed yet so quit acting like you are."

Just to appease her demanding friend, Mac smiled. "Okay, what do you think I do then?"

Louise walked over, snatched the divorce papers, and stuffed them in her letter rack. She then snapped shut all the files- notes and all- and shoved them in the top drawer of the filing cabinet. With one flick of a finger, she switched off Mac's computer then grabbed her bag, thrusting it into the dark-haired woman's hand.

"Let's go eat," she said simply. "Somewhere expensive…you deserve it. It's time to let go of the past and start anew, Mac. This is the first step."

"What's the second step?" Mac asked, frowning. There was something in Louise's voice that piqued her curiousity.

Louise smiled mysteriously. "That you gotta figure out on your own, Sarah."

**********************************************************

****

Mac's Residence

Miami, Florida

1705 EST, March 26th

"I'm sorry, kiddo, I'm sure he wanted to be there for you."

Jacob just shrugged, sighing and turning his dark eyes to the floor. He looked so vulnerable Mac just wanted to hold him, hold him while she thought of ways to murder that pathetic-excuse-for-a-father ex-husband of hers. It was one thing Dalton treating her like crap, she could take care of herself, but to not turn up to their only son's chess tournament finals when he promised was unforgivable. When Mac phoned his office, it was only to find he was out with that trampy secretary of his. But there was no way in hell she was going to tell Jacob that.

"He was with Leanne, Momma," Jacob muttered, taking a deep inhalation from his asthma inhaler. "He could have been there but he was out to dinner with Leanne, I know he was."

For a child born so sickly, Jacob was certainly a perceptive child for his eight years. He had more than his fair share of medical problems for one so young. He had been born two months premature and since his precarious days as a debilitated infant he was plagued with asthma, allergies, hayfever and frequent chest infections. From the day he was born, Jacob was forced to take multiple medications and was subjected to daily dialysis to ease his weak kidneys. He was never a strong child compared to other boys his age but Mac loved him so much, and what he lacked in physical strength he made up in intelligence and empathy.

Sometimes, Mac- and she knew, Jacob too- wondered if Dalton was so reluctant to bond with their son because of his ill health. If that were the case, she hoped he burned in hell with his demon floozy.

Mac drew the boy towards her, stroking his soft chestnut hair. "It doesn't matter if Daddy were there, I was and you know we're a team you and I."

"I know, Momma…." He looked away, jabbing at his glasses. "But all the other kids had their dads there. Ryan's parents are divorced and his dad flew in from Tampa to see him. Why couldn't Dad just have come for a few minutes? He didn't have to stay long. Why didn't he?"

__

Well, honey, unlike Ryan's daddy, yours is a bastard who doesn't know what a great kid he has and if I had my way I would fire his ass all the way to space that NASA would pick it up on the Hubble telescope.

She smiled sadly at Jacob, biting back that answer she formulated in her mind. "I don't know, kiddo, I don't know."

That was it… she was tired of seeing Jacob's heart being continually broken by that arse he had the misfortune of calling dad. It had to stop now, she just had to figure out how.

**********************************************************

****

Watford & Company Office

Miami, Florida

1245 EST, March 28th

Mac sat twiddling her pen between her fingers, deep in thought which was nothing new these days. She had considered what Louise had said to her two days ago and it was time to implement step two into the plan of Starting Anew.

"Louise?" Her friend looked her from her pile of files. "I've been thinking…"

"Wow, that's not like you," she murmured sarcastically but with a faint smile.

"I've been thinking of leaving Miami. You're right, Jacob and I need a fresh start and I can't do that here. Too many bad memories. I need to leave everything behind; Dalton, Jessica, the bimbos, everything."

Louise didn't seem shocked by her abrupt decision, instead took it in her stride as if expecting it. "Where do you plan on going? The world is a big place."

"I want to stay in America, at least for the time being until I get back on my feet. It will be easier for Jake to cope if we stay in the country. And it's going to be hard letting go of everything, including Dalton and especially Jessica, I do need some familiarity to begin with."

"Staying in law?"

"Yeah, I've been a lawyer too long to let _that_ go."

"Going back to the military? Dave said you were some hot-shot JAG attorney when you were still with them."

"Oh, he did, did he? Remind me not to tell Dave anything. What else do you know?"

"Nothing, you tell me nothing so I gotta gossip to get the juice. I don't even know where you lived."

"Far away.." She sighed. "Anyway, that title belongs to someone I once knew."

Louise smirked. "Was this 'someone' male?"

"Louise…" Mac cautioned. "Look, I just want out of here, preferably sticking with the firm."

With a serious expression now gracing her bronzed face, Louise pulled out a file from her bottom drawer and handed it to Mac. "Read this. It's your run-of-the-mill husband beats wife and wife kills husband accidentally in fight deal. The wife- a Mrs Trauner- got off with involuntarily manslaughter after serving six months. Now the husband's grandparents want custody of the three kids, aged fourteen, ten and eight. It'll be good, an easy one to start with the added bonus of being out of town."

Mac skimmed through the file. It did sound good…too good, there had to be some catch.

"I'm biting. Where is it?"

"It's the Washington firm dealing with it. My cousin Steven is the head of the Washington firm and he faxed it to me a coupla days ago asking if I wanted it to get outta town after that whole fiasco with Denny. But Denny and I worked things out and I was about to tell Steven to assign one of his own to it. There's still time, if you want it. Washington is great for putting down roots and there's good health facilities for Jacob."

Washington? God, she hadn't been there in eleven years. Since two months after saying good bye to Harm, her best friend and partner. It was be so hard going back but this was such a good opportunity.

"What's up, woman?"

"I used to live in Washington. Eleven years ago before Dalton."

Louise smiled in approval. "Then this is perfect, you won't be alone…You're going home, Sarah. I know it will be hard going back after so long but you'll know the place, it's home."

**********************************************************

****

Mac's Residence

Miami, Florida

1809 EST, March 30th

After much deliberation, Mac decided to take the case that would take her to Washington for the first time in eleven years. It was a huge decision, leaving behind Louise and her other friends, taking her sick son from everything familiar and most especially to leave behind Jessica but it was for the best. She would always return to visit Jessica, Jacob was a resilient boy and she and Louise would talk on the phone all the time. She would ensure she would.

When she had left Harm all those years ago she had planned to eventually get back in touch with her old best friend. She phoned him two weeks following her departure and every other night afterwards only to be told Harm was on assignment, either across state or most likely in another country. Time passed and slowly she gave up on restoring their friendship. Dalton was pleased but she felt a part of her died.

"Should I put this in my bag or in the transport boxes?" asked the youthful voice of her little boy, holding up his electronic chess set. He mulled over it and before she could reply he shrugged, "I think I'll put it in my bag- it's too cool to lose if the boxes get lost."

Jacob sat on his bed carefully packing his toys in his knapsack as Mac bundled his clothes into the suitcases laid out on the floor. The boy's once colourfully decorated room now practically lay bare with his posters and decorations packed away and already sent up to DC.

"What about school, Momma?" Jacob asked, the fortieth question in the last ten minutes. "What kind of school will I have to go to? Will it be a proper school?"

Mac knew how hard it was for Jacob to make friends, he was so frail and shy while the other boys were boisterous and energetic. He was half excited at the prospect of finally form some friendships but she had the feeling he was also anxious in case he would once again be ignored by healthy kids.

She also knew despite that fear of isolation, he yearned to attend a mainstream school. When he started school at aged six, Mac had deliberately chosen a school which could cater for his needs so for his entire educational career he had gone to Krayton School- a facility which was designed for the physically and mentally handicapped. But like all children, Jacob wanted to go to a mainstream school not because he did not like his blind and deaf friends from Krayton but more because it was his opinion he did not require a curriculum designated for a disabled child.

"I don't know, kiddo," Mac replied. "We'll see when we get there. Don't worry, I bet there'll be great kids there."

"Will we still see Daddy?"

__

Ha, if he can put his new toy, Leanne, down where she belongs. "Sure, we'll come down here for a few weeks in summer and he might come up to see you."

Just then, the doorbell rang. Mac knew who it would be so she smiled at her son, ruffling his dark hair as she stood up.

"Stay here and pack, I'll get the door."

"Okay, Momma."

As she went along the hallway, the door swung open to reveal Dalton. He was wearing one of his sleazy suits and was carrying a Toys R Us bag. She noticed his hair was re-dyed jet black with have a bottle of gel slicked through it. Strange how the man could keep his hairdresser's appointment and spend hours in front of the mirror yet could barely fit in a few minutes to be with his only son.

"Sarah, hello," he greeted, stepping into the house without invitation. He moved to kiss his ex-wife but she moved back quickly. "Is this how we meet these days? Come on, we're husband and wife, a quick kiss wouldn't hurt you."

"We're ex-husband and wife, Dalton," replied Mac. She turned for the kitchen, Dalton following behind least he be left standing there talking to thin air. "So, you managed to find the time to say goodbye to your son before he moves thousands of miles away?"

Dalton sighed, taking a seat at the kitchen table- one of the few pieces of furniture not packed away for transport. "Look, Sarah, I don't know what you're complaining about. Most mothers would be happy they didn't have to go to court to fight their child's father for custody. You should be pleased I let you have Jake."

"Jacob is not a possession," she hissed. "You didn't 'let' me have him, you gave him up the day he was born. You couldn't look after him for more than one day."

"A child like that needs to be with his mother."

"A child like that needs caring parents, I'm the only one Jacob has."

Scowling now, Dalton regarded his enraged ex-wife. "You know why he's like this today? It's because you pamper him, you treat him like a china doll. You've sent him to some disabled school like he's disabled, you escort him everywhere- you've made that boy into a weakling. He wouldn't be so sick today if you just let him be for a while."

Mac glared at Dalton as if he had grown a second head. Sometimes she wondered if he even knew the first thing in rearing a healthy child let alone a sick child. "He'd be dead if I 'just let him be.' The kid has asthma and kidney problems, not a damn in-growing toenail. He needs constant care, which he sure as hell won't get from you!"

Dalton stood up to confront Mac. "Now look here, I would spend more time with that kid if he was actually able to do anything. This is not my fault he was born like that, he was just…" He trailed off and Mac turned to the door to see Jacob standing there solemnly. "Son…how are you, Jakey?"

"Okay, Daddy," replied the boy quietly, slowly moving to give his father a kiss. His movements were devoid of life and it was clear from his dark eyes he had heard the whole argument.

"Good, good, Jake," smiled Dalton, ignorant to his son's distress. He thrust the bag he was carrying into Jacob's hands. "Here's just some things for you to play with when you go to DC."

Jacob opened the bag and pulled out a jigsaw puzzled aimed at the pre-school age range, a rubber ball one gave to a baby and a book entitled, 'Jake Goes Shopping'. He smiled in gratitude at his father but Mac could see the disappointment and resignation in the youngster's face.

God, there were times when even an eight-year-old could be insulted and this was such an example. Was this how Dalton saw Jacob- as a fragile tot? The rubber ball was pathetic, Jacob may not have been able to participate in many sports but there was no need to rub his nose in it. As for the jigsaw and the book were disgusting since despite the fact Jacob was put down a grade that was only because he had missed so much time when he was in hospital, it had nothing to do with his mental development. How little Dalton understood his own son let alone any other children.

He probably thought these stupid 'gifts' were an integral part of an eight-year-old boy's life. Save for his law and blond bimbos, his lines of interest didn't deviate further. And she wished Dalton would quit calling him 'Jake'- everything was 'Jake this' or 'Jake that'- her son's name was _Jacob_.

"Thank you, Daddy," Jacob said, hugging his father. For his part, Dalton looked quite pleased with himself- he probably thought a few ill-thought gifts would wipe out eight years of neglect.

Dalton ruffled the boy's dark hair. "Well, I hope you enjoy Washington, Jake, it's a good city. You be a good boy for your mother and I'll see you next time you come down."

What the hell kind of farewell was that for a father to his son?! Mac had seen enemies showing more anguish. The way Dalton was acting it was like Jacob was just going to summer camp not migrating to a completely different part of the country.

"Right, Daddy," murmured Jacob, blinking back tears more at the lack of Dalton's caring than leaving his father behind. "Momma, I'm going to start my dialysis."

"Okay, kiddo," Mac smiled warmly.

The boy trudged off leaving an incensed Mac with an oblivious Dalton. She wondered how the man could be such a distinguished lawyer yet be so dense with a young child.

"Why don't you go now?" Mac said, pushing him to the door.

"But I just got here," protested Dalton. He tried to stop her for a moment to talk but he was no match for a former Marine. "I thought we could spend some time together."

"No, I think nine years of a failed marriage is enough." Mac opened the front door and shoved him out. "Goodbye." She slammed the door in his face.

Sighing at her ex-husband's insensitivity, Mac prepared herself to undo the damage. She slowly made her way up to her son's room where Jacob lay on the bed, connected to the compact dialysis machine. She watched her son for moment, lost in thought.

When he was a baby, Jacob would have to go to the hospital for manual dialysis to assist his poorly functioning kidneys but as he grew older they were given the option to have a portable machine so he could receive his dialysis at home. At first, it was Mac who would set everything up then by the time he was six he asked to do it himself. This was one of the few independent acts he could accomplish himself so who was she to deny him the right.

For a boy his age though it was a painless process, it could be gruesome to watch the tubes of blood transfuse to and from his body through the machine. It was also tiresome since Jacob would have to sit still for six hours until the dialysis was complete. Not an easy chore for an eight-year-old boy but he coped…he always coped.

"Hey, Momma," said Jacob, shattering her reverie.

She smiled at being caught observing him. "Hi, kiddo." She walked to his side and sat on the edge of the bed.

"Momma, you don't have to be here," he said, "I can do this myself…It's one of the _few_ things I can do."

Mac sighed. God, it was so hard being a mom sometimes…especially to a kid who seemed to know everything going on around him. "Kiddo…Jacob, Daddy didn't mean what he said."

"Yes, he did," Jacob replied firmly. What could she say to him? What could she say to a boy who knew his father saw him as a weakling? "Don't worry, Momma, he's just Daddy. He always thinks like that…I…I just hope things will be, you know, different when we go to Washington. I don't want you treating me like a kid."

Mac refrained from pointing out that he _was_ still a kid, instead of nodding, "I'll try to let you do more things and things will be different in Washington, Jacob. I can feel it in my bones."

**********************************************************

****

Miami International Airport

Miami, Florida

1040 EST, April 2nd

This was it. Mac looked at Jacob standing by her side, his expression both a mixture of excitement and apprehension. She knew how he felt. This was the last chance she had to change her mind before she was in another city, another job and a new life. It was so scary yet exhilarating. She wasn't sure if she wanted to leave but it was for the best. She had to consider Jacob, and she was more than aware all the best hospitals and equipment were based in the country's capital not to mention she had to get her son away from Dalton before that sleazy son of a bitch stole his spirit.

"There you are, dreaming again," grinned Louise.

It was true, she did spend half her life in Laa-Laa land. It was safer there.

"It can't believe I'm doing this," murmured Mac. Suddenly she didn't know if she was strong enough to go, to leave.

"It's not too late to change your mind," Louise offered gently. "You don't have to go."

Mac sighed. It was so easy to stay but, hell, she was never one for taking the easy way out...a lesson she learned eleven years ago taught her not to. She smoothed Jacob's hair. "Yes, I do."

Louise broke into a broad grin. "Well, you give 'em hell, Mac. Show them what us Miami lawyers are really like."

The trio were now at the boarding gate where they would have to part as Mac and Jacob made their way onto the plane that would take her to her new job away from the mess that existed for her here in Miami.

Mac threw herself into Louise's arms, embracing as they both choked back tears.

"Keep in touch, Sarah."

"Of course I will." She'd travelled down the wrong road too often to allow a strong friendship like the one she shared with Louise shrivel. She wouldn't make the same mistake twice.

"And if you ever get homesick, give me a call. I'll tell you all about my love life that you'll be glad you're out there." Louise knelt down in front of Jacob, and held her godson. "You take care, little man, and try not to give those poor teachers grief with all your bad behaviour."

Jacob chuckled through his tears. "I will, Louise. I wish you were coming with us."

"Don't worry, you'll do great, kiddo."

Mac smiled, lifting Jacob's featherweight form into her arms. "I'll be seeing you, Lou." With those words, she walked into the corridor carrying her son. She wanted so badly to stay but it was time to go home, as Louise had put it.

**********************************************************

****

Paul's Coffee Shop

Washington DC

1403 EST, April 4th

It had been a tiring day. She had spent the two days she had been in Washington re-arranging her new apartment and give Jacob some sense of security. Louise had her cousin rent a decent furnished apartment on Mac's behalf so when she arrived, she and Jacob wouldn't have to stay in some dingy motel. The actual place was nice with a great view and quite spacious but it was so time consuming fixing it around to her liking while trying to prepare her case for court. Not to mention the added burden of finding a good babysitter for Jacob until she found a school for him.

The case itself was challenging as was with the opposing lawyer she was facing. Mrs Trauner, the mother of the three children in question, was someone Mac could almost identify with. This woman could have quite easily been her mother, a victim of an abusive marriage, only in this case she felt proud of Mrs Trauner for standing up for herself then fighting for her children. It was hell of a lot more than Mac's mother did when she was a child.

But sympathy and admiration were not going to win a case. The childrens' paternal grandparents were obviously determined to win for them to hire such a tough defence for themselves. The attorney's name was Mic Brumby, an arrogant and unyielding Australian who almost reminded her of Harm at times.

The first day in court she was playing hardball. Brumby was much like a military officer in the way he argued and Mac found herself slipping back into her role of Marine major, something she had not done for close to twelve years.

The court had called a recess until tomorrow however so she was taking the time to enjoy the old familiar city and have a decent cup of coffee you could only find in the bureaucracy capital. She was already looking forward to the weekend to spend some time with her son.

"Well, well, well, so we meet again, Counsellor."

Even if she did not recognise the voice, the strong Australian tang was enough to tell her that her 'dear' friendly opposition, Mic Brumby, was within distance. The slightly greying man sat down with his coffee opposite her, not waiting and seemingly not wanting an invite.

"Hello, Mr Brumby, what can I do for you?" she asked tightly, not in the mood to make friends with the enemy.

"Hey, we're not in the court room just now," Brumby said, smoothly. "We can play nice out here. Nobody ever taught you not to confuse business with pleasure."

God, those words were like what Harm had said after their first case on opposing sides. It was so spooky hearing those words being spoken to her again as a reminder of long gone times.

"Okay," she said gamely, "what do you want to play?"

"Ooh, kinky," leered Brumby. He sobered holding up his wedding band. "But no matter how beautiful you are, kinky is out of the question. The wife would kill me then cut me up…and I'm not joking, she's great with cutting. Seriously, Steven Mitchell mentioned you were new in town so as a fellow out-of-towner I thought I say welcome."

"Thanks…so how long have you been in DC?"

"Actually, close to ten years. I came here and liked it so much I stayed. Nice city, great place to raise kids unlike some other places in America."

His face softened as he mentioned 'kids'. Aah, a proud father. "I take it you _are_ raising kids."

"Oh yeah, my angels," he grinned. "What about you? Got any kiddies?"

"Yes, as a matter of fact I do."

"How are they coping with the move?"

"Good, you know kids, they cope well. I still have to find a school for him so he's seeing this as a added vacation."

"I'll bet he's loving that. Well, my kids go to a good school, a prep one just on the outskirts of the city. I'll bring in the prospectus for you if you want."

"Yes, that would be very nice, thank you. I actually used to live here but back then schools weren't in my area of interest." Maybe this Brumby wasn't so bad after all. Still, she had not yet ruled out sending Jacob to a school much like Krayton- her son needed specialised care. He was still such a very little boy who had so much to cope with physically.

"You used to live here, huh? So how long are you staying in town?"

"Depends on how I like things…could be a month, could be longer."

"I'm not telling you how to do things but you should stay a while, Sarah, there's so much to see," Mic, as he insisted on being called, grinned. "And I bet loadsa things have changed since you were last here."

"So they tell me." But he could be right; it was nice being home again.

**********************************************************

****

Civil Court

Washington DC

1545 EST, April 9th

Over the next few days, they were in court, Mac and Mic (God, that sounded ridiculous though he did have the habit of calling her Sarah like so many of her civilian friends) spent their after-court times at the coffee shop. It was a ritual- deadly enemies in court but outside, good friends.

It felt good having a strictly platonic friendship with a man for once. With all the hassle over Dalton, she never guessed if would not be stressful having a male friend. Mic was a good man though a tad arrogant at times. He was besotted in his wife, Terri, and their kids who he was clearly devoted to. Nonetheless, when the two counsellors _did_ talk it was mainly about cases or such, neither really went into the personal depths and that suited Mac fine. She wasn't that trusting to discuss Dalton, Jacob and all her problems with a virtual stranger.

Today, however, she could not help but notice how almost hyperactive Mic was, as if he was desperate to get the day over with. He was acting like a restless child on Christmas Eve.

"What's up?" she asked as she filed her notes into her briefcase.

Brumby stuffed his notes clumsily from the desk opposite. "What do you mean?"

"You're so eager to leave the place."

He grinned. "My friend is getting back from his three-week vacation in Canada. He's meeting me outside…it'll be great to see him. He's a lawyer too." He smirked. "Maybe if we both put our heads together we'll lick ya on this case."

"Yeah right," Mac muttered.

"You should come meet him, my wife and kids. They'll all be there. We're all going to go out for a meal, you're free to join us."

"I think I'll do that."

As they walked to the front of the court and down the flight of stone stairs, Mac could see a black mini-van parked out front. Just then, seven children- four boys and three girls- leaped out when they could sight of their father, throwing themselves on Mic. They were all handsome children although not all seemed to inherit their features from their father. The eldest- a dark-skinned girl- looked to be about fifteen and the youngest boy only around two or three. The kids, save the smallest child, all wore identical uniforms indicative of private schooling. What a mix they were! Mic and his wife must really love kids to have had seven.

A short blond woman came up behind the children, grinning. She was no doubt Terri from the way she hugged and kissed Mic.

"Sarah Mackenzie, I'd like you to meet my lovely wife, Terri," Mic introduced.

"Pleased to meet you, Sarah," smiled Terri, offering her hand. "Mic's told me so much about you. It's good to see a woman kick his ass in court."

"Pleased to meet you too," replied Sarah, shaking her hand.

Her dark eyes drifted from Terri and her husband to another tall form stepping out of the van. It was then recognition hit her with full force that almost had her faint on the spot…

His hair was slightly longer than she remembered it and he seemed to carry himself with a man who was more seasoned, more experienced compared to his carefree days, but he was the same Harmon Rabb Junior she had left eleven years ago for Dalton. He was wearing the dress whites he always looked so good in, even now after eleven years, and it was apparent he had since risen to the rank of captain.

His attention focused from the mini-van then to Brumby's two youngest children, the toddler boy and the younger girl aged around five or six. The two little ones ran up to him, chattering excitedly. He picked up little boy and took the girl's tiny hand in his, turning towards her. The moment his solemn blue eyes connected with hers, blood drained from his face and his square jaw dropped to the ground in complete and utter shock. She knew the feeling.

Eleven years was a long time- more than a decade- and no doubt, there were aspects in each other's lives that had changed considerably. Not to mention, they hadn't parted on the best of terms. She had never thought she would ever see him again…and here he stood not twelve metres in front of her.

Her fear of his rebuke eased as he smiled that gentle smile she thought she would never see grace his features in her presence. Mac should have known better, Harm was never one for grudges. Still clutching onto the two children, he closed the gap between them until only five feet seperated them…five feet and eleven years apart.

"Harm…" She trailed off not knowing what to say. "Eh, how have you been?"

He shrugged almost shyly. "Good…I've been good. And you?"

"Good too." Mic and Terri were watching the former partners uncertainly; even the children were silent.

"I…I didn't know you were back in DC, the last I heard you were in Miami."

"I came back," she replied. "Things weren't working out that well in Miami so I came home."

"Oh…So, you're in civilian court now? Still in Dalton's firm?"

She grinned at his bashfulness. "That's one of the things that wasn't working out. I'm now with Watford & Company."

"Good firm."

"I take it you're still with JAG." It wasn't a question as much as an observation.

"Yeah, I head the Trial Service Office in the Navy Yard now."

"Well done, _Captain_," she grinned, emphasising his rank but aware he was probably more than used to his 'new' rank.

There was an awkward silence then one of the boys- the eldest of the four male youngsters- spoke and his words were almost enough to precipitate a heart attack. "Hey, Dad, do you two know each other?"

Had she heard correctly or did she need a hearing test? Dad?! Harm- a father?!

It was clear the blond boy was talking to Harm, not Brumby, but that was not all. The youngster looked to be in his earlier teens, perhaps no less than twelve years old. Where the hell did Harm get a teenaged son?

"Yes, Nick," Harm replied, his eyes on the boy so was oblivious to her astonishment. "Mac and I used to work with each other at JAG when I was working with Grandpa AJ."

Now Terri and Brumby were the one who were shocked. No less than her when she heard Harm refer to 'Grandpa AJ'- she could never imagine the pertinacious admiral allowing that nickname. But then it so many things had changed she had to remember, not just with her.

"You were with JAG?" Brumby repeated. "Wow, what a small world. I was in an exchange assignment with JAG ten years ago when I was still with the Navy."

"And I'm a reserve," added Terri. "It was Harm who introduced us."

Mac couldn't believe this. Here she was working with Harm's best friend and she didn't know it. The trio shared such a compact friendship that she was envious with how Harm's life had turned out. No doubt he was married happily with his son.

"Daddy, I'm bored," moaned who seemed to be the second youngest of the boys, thank God referring to Mic.

"I know you are, sport, and we're about to eat soon." He heaved the boy up. "Well, Sarah, you haven't met our little angels yet. These my kids: Darlin, Dana and Christopher." He indicated to the eldest girl, the middle girl and the boy he held in his arms respectively.

That left four of the children unaccounted for meaning only one thing...

Harm picked up from Mic. "And these are my sons: Nick, Tom and Benjy." He pointed to the teenage boy, a young boy around eight and the toddler he was carrying. He then ruffled the plaited hair of the smallest girl. "And this is my little girl, Kat."

Four children…Harm had _four _children?! Sure she had assumed he had family, he was always into the whole wife/kids/pets/picket-fenced-house deal when he wasn't obsessing about his MIA father nevertheless she had never pictured him fathering four kids- two or so at the most.

However, there was no denying these were his children. He looked to them with tenderness and devotion, love that was mirrored with equal intensity in their young eyes. She was inexplicably jealous- would anyone ever look at _her_ son in that way?

The three younger children were certainly their father's kids judging from their cherubic features. Tom was like a miniature version of Harm, only his dark eyes a legacy of most likely his mother. Kat had her father's glacial blue eyes and earnest aura while young Benjy's identical orbs and Harm's dark hair made certain he would grow to be as handsome in adulthood as he was adorable in childhood. Nick, on the other hand, was a blond haired child with eyes that were not as blue as Harm's, perhaps making him more his mother's son.

"Eh, I heard you had a child too," Harm said, shattering the awkward silence.

She smiled at the thought of her beautiful baby boy. "Yes, a son named Jacob…" She frowned when a sudden puzzle piqued her mind. "How did you know?"

"Dalton had it advertised in the local papers." Oh, he did, did he? God, the arrogance of the man was so infuriating. She knew her ex-husband announced his son's birth not out of pride but to boast at his accomplishment. Probably, upon discovering Jacob's list of illnesses, he had the media bury the story of his son's birth. She wondered if he had announced anything else. Harm continued, unaware of Mac's inner worries. "I remember reading about your son's birth just a few months before Meg had Tom."

Meg? So, that was what his wife was named. Was this the same Meg Austin he was partnered with prior to her? He did seem fond of her whenever she was mentioned.

Curiousity was irritating her and never being one to wait on ceremony, she decided to ask about the woman who had stolen the heart of one of the few men she ever cared about. "Where is your wife now?"

Harm blanched slightly and the Brumby couple fidgeted at her question. Before Harm could answer his son, Tom, interjected, "My mom's dead. She was shot in the heart when I was five. Zero chance of survival."

To say Mac was surprised not just at the fact Harm had lost his wife but at the boy's attitude, or lack of attitude. None of the others seemed shocked at the child's abrupt statement. Harm just ruffled Tom's dark hair.

"That's right, son."

"I-I'm sorry," stuttered Mac, apologetic and embarrassed at re-opening their grief.

"It's okay," Harm replied, his voice cracking slightly. She wanted to comfort him and felt out of place when Terri put a consoling hand on his shoulder. The gesture brought home how far he had grown away from her.

Mac felt she had learned enough for now. It wouldn't be good for either of them to just plunge into re-establishing their friendship, too much time had passed. Now that they had met she wasn't willing to let go but they would have to be careful to conserve their fragile bond.

"I should be getting back to Jacob," she said. "I know I said I'd stay but I promised him I would take him for a drive around the city."

She turned to move when Harm handed her a small card. "Here's my phone number, we're all getting together on Saturday for a barbecue meal. You should come, bring Jacob with you, there'll be plenty of kids for him to play with."

She smiled at him, taking his card and placing it carefully in her pocket. "We'll be there," Mac promised, pleased to see he too wanted to restore their frayed ties. She knew for certain there was no way in hell she would let him go, she had done that before and she was determined not to make that mistake again.

**********************************************************

****

Harm's Residence

Washington DC

2112 EST, April 9th

During supper, since coming home and helping the children with their homework, Harm tried to pretend everything was normal…but it wasn't. From the moment he set eyes on Mac, he felt as if his whole world was turned upside down.

When she left, he was barely able to focus on his surroundings, still stunned how his best friend could abandon him and their partnership. It was so bad Annie eventually put an end to their already rocky relationship. He threw himself into his work, bemoaning how disastrous his life had become. Then he met Meg and Nick. It was like a second chance. His wife-to-be was so patient and understanding and he was amazed at the paternal role she allowed him to play in her two-year-old son's life.

It was another two years before he plucked up the courage to marry her and still another year before they had their second child together (though he was not Nick's biological father, they both considered the boy Harm's son). By that time, Mac was a memory, part of the past…until today.

He sat in the living room of his large maisonette looking through a photo album that contained the only physical souvenirs of his partnership with Mac when a voice broke his reminiscing.

"Are you going to marry her?"

Harm gazed up to find himself the focus of three pairs of solemn eyes belonging to his three elder children, Benjy was more interested in using the ten-thousand dollar Egyptian vase for mashing his play dough blobs into pancakes.

Meg had died two years ago and despite Harm showing little interest in the opposite sex since the passing of his beloved wife, the kids assumed that every time he so much as looked at a woman she would become his wife. He had to be careful not to unnecessarily worry them while trying not to develop monk-like tendencies.

It had been Tom who had spoken though the other two were all ears to his answer. "No, I'm not going to marry Mac."

"Danny Handson's dad married some woman he met on the Internet five months after he first talked to her and now Danny goes to some sucky boarding school in New Mexico."

"I'm not sending to you to New Mexico," stressed Harm. "Kids, we were partners years ago, a long time before I even met your mom. I'm not about to elope with her so relax."

"So, she's not going to butt in on us like Jordan?" Kat asked, disgusted at even mentioning his former girlfriend's name.

Jordan Parker attempted to move into his life six months ago, much the childrens' disapproval. The psychiatrist did not win any awards when she continually tried to analyse both him and the kids at every turn. Needless to say, she didn't last long.

"No, Kat, she's not. But I don't want you playing any tricks on Mac like you did on Jordan. No calling the pizza shops to deliver forty pizzas to her house, no telling your teacher your dad is being stalked by a witch, no training the dog to bite her, no teaching Benjy to spit gum in her hair and _NO_ laxatives in her coffee." He couldn't believe how satanic his little angels were, they terrorised the poor woman it was a wonder _she_ wasn't the one in need of a psychiatrist.

"But we didn't do anything," Kat said innocently, gracing him with a beatific smile. The boys giggled, calming at his raised eyebrow.

"I mean it, Kathryn, I want you to treat her like you treat Auntie Terri or Auntie Harriet. Mac isn't Jordan."

"Did you, y'know, like her back when you were partners?" Nick questioned. "I mean, did you like _like_ her?"

"No, we were just good friends and partner, no more. Anyway, it's against the code of conduct to have a relationship with a colleague."

"But Auntie Harriet and Uncle Bud were working together and they got married."

Oh, that boy was getting too quick. "Yes, son, but that's different."

"I don't think so, Dad. I reckon the Navy is only against casual flings between officers, if the relationship is real deep and that and the people are gonna get married, they can't really do much about it."

"That could be true," conceded Harm, "but Mac and I did not share a 'real deep and that' relationship. We were just good friends."

"Yeah, that's what they all say."

"Mac said she had a kid," Tom said.

"So?"

"Well, you've already got too many kids. You don't need another. He's probably a brat."

Jealousy was already forming and they hadn't even met Mac properly. "Tom, you don't know if Jacob is a brat, you haven't even met the boy." He pulled the three children closer, scooping a struggling Benjy into his arms. "Kids, you don't have to worry, I'm not going to stop loving you if I talk to another person. Us five are a team, okay?"

"What about Toby?" piped Kat, patting the family dog. "Just 'cause he's a dog doesn't mean he don't got feelings too?"

"Okay, us six are a team. Understood, people?" The children nodded. "Good, now it's time for bed, my little team mates." Harm stood up from the coach and grabbed Benjy, who was about to run off at the word 'bed'. "Come on, you have school tomorrow."

"I don't got school, Daddy," Benjy pointed out, "I don't go to bed."

He hauled the giggling toddler onto his shoulders. "Go to bed now and I'll finish the story about the ghost boy."

"Okay, Daddy…but make it a-scary, I like scares."

Harm grinned inwardly, knowing exactly how to manipulate the kids to behave. With Nick it was basketball, for Tom it was the promise of letting him stay up late on the weekends to visit some obscure medical website he had discovered on the Internet and in the case of the two little ones, promises of toys and stories cut it. Of course, the gift worked two ways since he was firmly wrapped around the kids' little fingers.

The older kids were old enough to shower themselves while Harm bathed their youngest brother. After putting Benjy to bed, he checked on the other three. Kat and Tom were fast asleep but Nick was still awake, reading quietly. Harm felt the thirteen-year-old was at an age when he could decide when to sleep so long as he didn't stay up too late.

"Hey, Dad," smiled Nick, looking up from his book when he saw his father at the door. Harm came and sat on the edge of his bed, patting the family dog Toby who was lounging at the foot of the teenager's bed.

"How's things?" Harm asked, fiddling with a remote control car Nick had constructed by himself.

"Good, Mr Bixley let me work on my model plane in Shop today instead of doing the sucky letter rack the rest of the kids were doing. I think I might have it all finished by Benjy's birthday so I can give it to him."

"That's very sweet of you giving your brother a project you spend so time and effort on."

Nick shrugged. "Hey, it saves me using my allowance to buy some expensive toy he's just going to break. When he's not looking I'll quietly take it back."

Harm bit back a grin. "How's your basketball going?"

"Great, we beat Rockside Junior High today, it was only a mock game but we still beat 'em. We got a real game next against Maxwell School." Nick was not only a huge basketball fan but a proficient player.

"I'll be there."

Nick grinned. He was silent for a second or two then he cast Harm a contemplative look that reminded him so much of his wife. "Dad…do you like Mac or Sarah or whatever you call her?"

"Mac…I thought we had this conversation."

"Yeah, but you might have been kinda gentle, I guess, with Tom and Kat there. I mean, you saw what Kat was like with Jordan."

"Well, don't worry, Nicky, I was being honest earlier. We were- are just good friends."

"I wasn't worried." He shifted in his bed. "Dad, it's okay if you want to…date again."

Wow, this was quite a jump. "Nick-"

"No, really, I won't mind. Just so long as you don't go out with a weirdo like Jordan, she was kinda like you dating a psyche person or another hyper kid…But really, if you do find someone we won't be mad or anything and if Kat is, she'll get over it. Don't be a loner 'cause of Mom, I think she would want you to find someone else."

Nick was always so intelligent for his age. He knew this was a hard topic for the boy yet still he considered his father. If the kid didn't grow up to become an FBI agent he sure as hell would make a gifted psychologist.

Harm smiled and tousled the boy's hair. "Thank you for telling that, Nick, it mean a lot to know that but there isn't anyone."

"Okay, Dad. See ya tomorrow." Nick watched his father leave his room to retire to his own bed. Somehow, he didn't believe Dad was telling the truth though he might not know it. He had a _look_ on his face when he met Mac- the same look he sometimes gave his Mom. He would have to keep an eye on this, after all that was his job as a kid.

**********************************************************

****

Harm's Residence

Washington DC

1305 EST, April 12th

On the Friday, the day before she was due to go to Harm's barbecue, Terri Brumby 'ran into' Mac at Paul's Café. She had the distinct feeling the pathologist was attempting to vet her in the same way a father would check out their teenage daughter's boyfriend. It was nice to know Harm had people watching out for him.

She must have passed the test since Terri ended up telling her the abbreviated version of Harm's life (she said any other details she might need would come from Harm's own mouth). So now Mac knew Harm was father to eight-year-old Thomas, five-year-old Kathryn and two-and-a-half-year-old Benjamin. He adopted thirteen-year-old Nicholas when the boy was four. Nick was the son of Harm's wife from a failed relationship and the boy's real father had buggered off to France when Meg was two months pregnant.

Apparently, Meg was not Meg Austin, Harm's previous partner, but was in fact Doctor Megan Shaw, a paediatrician at Georgetown Medical Centre. She was shot point-blank in the heart whilst trying to protect a four-year-old child for his drunk and abusive father leaving Harm to raise four children by himself. To make matters worse, Benjy was just a few months olds Kat was a mischievous toddler and the boys were old enough to be affected by their mother's tragic death. To come through such a tragedy at that point in his childrens' lives must have been extremely difficult. It seemed that fate had been cruel to Harm as it had been to her.

Now here she stood outside of Harm's house holding Jacob's hand as she prepared to meet her past. Harm's home was huge, Terri had said it had seven bedrooms, and was situated in a beautiful suburban area of the city. The front yard had a lovely array of flowers and well-trimmed shrubs and from what she could see, the back yard was the play area scattered with outdoor toys and play equipment.

"Cool house," commented Jacob. "It looks so big."

She smiled at the boy. "Well, there are five people living there."

"Have you met the kids yet? What are they like?" He was nervous.

"I met them on Wednesday but I don't really know them. One of them is a boy your age."

Jacob sighed. "Who cares? He's probably in the third grade like all _normal_ eight-year-olds'. He'll think I'm a baby. They all will."

Mac crouched down to Jacob's eye level and took her son by his shoulders. "Jacob, you are a normal boy, you just have to take things a little easier. You're only in second grade because you were sick, I'm sure this boy will understand that." _Please let this child be as caring as his father, _she prayed thinking of young Tom Rabb and the other Rabb kids.

"You think?"

"I do." She stood up and re-took his tiny hand. "Ready to go?"

"Yes, ma'am," saluted Jacob.

The mother and son made their way up the long drive way to the thick wooden door. Before Mac could knock, the door swung open to reveal Harm holding Benjy. He was dressed in civilian clothing; jeans, trainers and a shirt. He looked good but then he always did, nevertheless he seemed more relaxed than he did when she knew him years ago. Family life had calmed him.

"Hi, Mac," he grinned. "Say hello, Ben." The little boy hid his face in Harm's shoulder shyly.

"Hello there, Benjy. He's shy," Mac replied, amused at the toddler's coyness. Young Benjy was sure to break hearts when he was older.

"He's not always so shy, wait a while 'til he knows you then he'll be the regular terror that he is." He placed Benjy on the ground and the boy toddled off, glancing back once. Harm knelt down in front of Jacob. "So, you must be Jacob?"

"Yeah," said Jacob, just as shy as Benjy. He wasn't used to male attention, save for doctors.

"Well, pleased to meet you."

Jacob shook Harm's pre-offered hand enthusiastically. "Pleased to meet you too, sir."

"There's no need to call me 'sir', just call me 'Harm'. Everyone else does." He stood up and smiled at Mac. "I take it you both want to meet everyone else." He led them to the large kitchen where everybody was packed. Mic and Terri were there, working on a salad. The other couple were vaguely familiar. Harm noticed her recollection. "You remember Bud and Harriet."

Bud shook her hand while Harriet drew her into a hug, fussing over Jacob. They seemed less bumbling than they were in their younger days yet they were still happy-go-lucky and excitable.

"It's so good to see you again, er…Major," gushed Harriet.

Mac smiled. God, she hadn't been called _that _for eleven years. "Just call me Mac, Harriet. We're not going to stand on formality after all these years, are we?"

By her side, Jacob was fidgeting. She could see why, he found meeting other children daunting as he often found they were revolted with all his medical problems and she had prepared him to encounter only four kids but by her count there was ten children. The Brumby couple had brought their three and there was one girl who she assumed was Bud and Harriet's. In a way, it was good for Jacob to be with so many people remotely his own age, he usually spent a great deal of his time in the presence of adults.

Harm introduced Jacob to each of the children, acquainting him with his four remembering to mention his dog Toby when he referred to his brood, the Brumby kids, and the stray girl he presented as AJ Roberts. Bud and Harriet had apparently nicknamed their daughter 'Little AJ' to distinguish the girl from the elder Admiral AJ Chedwiggen, obviously her namesake. Little AJ, like any nine-year-old, was not fond her nickname and would promptly correct them pointing out her name was Alison Jayme.

The children was cluttering the area and fifteen minutes later Harm decided to proceed the nine excited youngsters (Brumby's eldest daughter, Darlin, was not amused at the prospect of spending her day with 'old' adults and little kids for company) to the living room. The kids dashed off leaving Jacob still clinging to Mac and Darlin looking offended.

"Uncle Harm, I'm not a pathetic child like that lot," she moaned, "I don't see why I have to be stuck with the babies."

Mac was entertained by the teenager's indignant statement. Here she was complaining at being designated a child at the age of fifteen or so, come another fifteen years she would be investing in all sorts of creams and gels to restore her youth. She was glad Jacob was still only eight; the dilemmas of adolescence seemed years away.

Harm coped with Darlin's grumbles easily, handing her a ten-dollar bill. "Why don't you go get some candy at the store for all the kids to have later? And then get some magazines so you have something to do."

Darlin was immediately pacified. "Thanks, Uncle Harm!" She ran out the backdoor with a skip.

"Last year she was happy to play with the other kids," frowned Brumby. "What happened?"

Terri hid a smile at her husband that couldn't understand their little girl wasn't so little anymore. "Just be glad she's not asked for her own apartment yet."

Harm turned to Jacob, noticing he was still riveted to the spot closest to his mother. "Don't you want to play with the other kids, Jacob?" he asked gently.

Jacob shrugged, his eyes lowering to the floor. Mac could see he was terrified of being rejected, especially in front of Harm who he seemed to look up to, surprising considering he had just met the Navy captain.

Nodding, Harm put a hand on his shoulder. "Feeling a bit shy because you don't know them, huh?" 

Jacob looked up quickly. "Yeah…"

"Don't worry, I'll fix that." He cocked his head to the direction of the living room. "Hey, Nick!" A few seconds later, Harm's eldest son appeared. "Nick, can you show Jacob around?"

Nick bobbed his head. "Sure, Dad. Coming, Jacob?"

Seeing Jacob was uncertain, Mac took his hand. "How about I come sit with you for a while?"

Content, the boy and his mother followed Nick through the house to the equally spacious living room where all the kids were gathered. The teenager picked up on Jacob's apprehension and smirked.

"I wouldn't worry if I were you," he said. "Actually I would, come to think of it."

Jacob gulped and Mac frowned in protest. "Why?"

"Well, you're about to enter the equivalent of a safari park and only the zoo keepers- like my dad and that- aren't there with the tranquilliser guns." He grinned at their stunned features. "Just joking…some words of warning though, don't allow Tom to 'examine' you- he's going through a doctor stage and doesn't seem to understand he needs a medical license to perform surgery and _DO NOT_ under any circumstance accept any coffee from my sister."

In the den, Tom and Little AJ were fixedly watching some medical programme on television sitting on the floor beside a golden retriever; Benjy was using what seemed like one of Harm's books as a colouring book; Kat and Christopher were giggling over a pile of comic books as Dana Brumby occupied herself with a handheld computer.

When Jacob and Mac settled on the sofa Nick indicated to, the teenager turned to leave the room.

"I gotta go. Don't worry, Jacob, just remember my advice and you'll be fine."

Tom's attention was drawn to his brother's departure. "Where are you going?" he asked. "I want to come."

"I'm going out to play basketball with Robbie," answered Nick. "Sitting here watching 'Medics' with a bunch of little kids is not my idea of a good time."

"Can I come?"

"No, you're too little. You'd better be nice to Jacob or I'll have to kill you."

"Cool!" exclaimed Tom. "Then I can do my first autopsy."

"And I can help," added Little AJ.

Nick rolled his eyes. "And, Kat, don't bother using anybody to practise your karate moves." The boy swiftly left before any further comments could be made.

The other children ignored Mac and Jacob until the commercials on the TV came on then Tom twisted to face Jacob.

"My dad says you lived in Miami," he said.

"Yeah, we used to," replied Jacob, delighted that someone was talking to him.

"Cool, we live in DC all our lives, it's so boring. We go to California to see our grandparents but it's not as neat as Miami. Do you go surfing and that? On TV, all the kids who live in Miami surf. Do you? I would if I lived in Miami instead of boring DC."

"Uh…well…" Jacob shot his mother a pleading glance. Mac knew he didn't know whether he should explain about his kidney problems and not being able to go swimming in unchlorinated water because his dialysis catheter made it easy for him to pick up an infection.

Mac decided to step in. "Jacob can't go swimming because he has an illness."

She had hoped he would leave it at that but the boy seemed fascinated. "What illness?"

Mac opened her mouth to answer when Jacob cut in. "I have poorly functioning kidneys. I have to get dialysis a lot so I have a permanent port here." He indicated to his abdomen. "It means I can't go swimming unless the water had chlorine...My mom says its too dangerous so I don't know how to swim let alone surf."

All the kids were listening now in stunned silence. Jacob ducked his head, fearing he had lost potential friends, when Tom yelled exuberantly. "That's so neat!"

"He wants to be a doctor," Little AJ supplied at Mac's horrified gape.

"I want to work in the ER of a huge hospital," corrected Tom. "That's where all the cool stuff happens like shootings and mad psychos busting up cops. Either that or do surgery, that'd be neat too. But you gotta go to med school so I figure if I learn loads now then I'll have less to learn later on. What school are you goin' to? We all go to Ellingford's. Are you going there too?"

Jacob shrugged. "My mom said I might be going to Ashlair School."

"Ashlair?" repeated Tom. "Ain't heard of it."

"I have," Dana said, looking up from her game. "That's where Laura West goes."

"But that's a school for like disabled kids," cited Little AJ. "Laura goes there because it has tonnes of Braille stuff and she's blind. You don't look blind or deaf or wheelchair bound."

"I'm not," muttered Jacob, mortified.

Mac was about to changed the subject from such a delicate topic when Tom flashed a row of white teeth, a grin so broadly the resemblance to his father was so striking. "Hey, I could probably operate and make you better." He reached into a black leather bag he beside him and pulled out a handful of rusty, mud-encrusted medical instruments. "I have all the stuff."

What a sweet boy Harm had. Tom and Little AJ pounced on Jacob, demanding every little detail of his afflictions and soon their conversation moved on to talk about bodies and death. Mac didn't know whether to be worried or not. Since Jacob was happy enough, Mac perched beside Kat, who sat on another long sofa with Christopher.

Kat cast her a sideways glance, studying her. It was quite disconcerting to be so intensely scrutinised by a five-year-old. Terri had mentioned Kat was a regular Daddy's Little Girl and did not welcome anyone moving in her territory- namely her father.

"Hello, Kathryn," she smiled.

"Hello, Mac," Kat replied sweetly.

"What are you kids doing there?"

Christopher was a quiet child and left the talking to Kat. "Reading," answered Kat, as if Mac was retarded.

"You can read?" She was genuinely surprised. Most five-year-olds' she met did not have a literacy above a few basic words and here Kat was reading a book she had a feeling belonged to one of the older boys.

"Yes, I am in first grade. _I_ got put up a grade, I should really be in kindergarten."

"You must be very bright," smiled Mac.

The girl said nothing. She tilted her head slightly. "You used to be in the military, didn't you?"

"Yes, I was a Marine lawyer, I worked with your dad."

"You must have done all this tough training and that."

"Yes." Mac wanted to get closer to this child, it was important to forge a bond with a child before any bonds could be made with the parents. She understood that since having Jacob. Still, she didn't know where this conversation was heading.

"Well, that stuff won't help you," Kat said simply.

"What?"

"All your training won't help you. I know you're sniffing around my dad. Jordan was too and she was in the military but we managed to get rid of her quickly. We can do it again."

Mac stared agape at this seemingly innocent little 'angel' bluntly telling her that Harm was off-limits. Luckily, before she could form a response Harm stuck his head into the living room to ask for her help.

The rest of the day progressed rather nicely. Nick and Darlin joined them later on for dinner and the adults spent the day discussing the past and their kids. Mac already made the decision to enrol Jacob into Ellingford's Academy- the school that the other children attended.

Mac felt like she had caught up on a whole eleven years of personal history in that evening- Harriet was still ever the gossiper. She learned that AJ Chedwiggen was still the JAG but was grooming Harm to take over in the not-too-distant-future. She learnt that Bud worked with Harm at the Trial Service Office and she discovered Clayton Webb was had toned down his international espionage career with a wife and seven-year-old twins on the scene convincing him a switch to lecturing political science in a Boston university was a safer option.

One detail that did disappoint Mac was that she hardly had any time alone with Harm and she thought they desperately needed it. Then just as she went to leave, he asked her and Jacob to join him and his kids on a picnic the following weekend. It was the start she was waiting for.

**********************************************************

****

Eighty Miles Over The Maryland State Border

1415 EST, April 19th

"You got rid of the Vette?"

Harm was driving the two families to his favourite picnic spot in his black mini-van. Mac had seen a silver SUV in the garage of his home but still the two vehicles seemed a long way off from his beloved Corvette of years ago.

He grinned. "Yeah, Meg made me get rid of it. It wasn't exactly practical with four kids."

"I'll bet. Is it one with the junk yards now?"

"Are you kidding?! I sent it down to California so my mom and Frank could look after it. Nicky already has his eyes on it."

__

Like father, like son, Mac thought in amusement. Ironically, it was Nick whose personality closely matched Harm's. She came to the conclusion that with Tom's avid interest in the medical arts he was his mother's child while little Benjy was too young to possess characteristics yet though for now his personality seemed to match a cross between a demon and an angel (he was going through the dreaded 'Terrible Twos' stage). That left Kat…

The girl had been nothing but cordial in front of her father when they came round to pick up Mac and Jacob. Her discreet attempts to separate the two adults were obvious nonetheless. Kat would interrupt Mac when she was speaking, insist of sitting up front between Harm and Mac rather than with the boys and Toby, and she would talk of happy times when Mac was not on the scene. For now, she was quiet, sleeping against Harm leaving the adults to talk freely.

Her attempts to drive a wedge dividing them was cute in a strange way but Mac knew if things were to become serious between her and Harm then Kat would have to be considered. Mac was not about to break up a happy home by further hurting a five-year-old child that just had her father's interests at heart.

When they reached a beautiful area situated by a sparkling lake, Harm drew to a halt, parking the mini-van just under the shade of a huge willow tree. The kids clambered out, animated.

"Nice place," commented Mac.

"Yeah, we come out here a lot to get away from things," replied Harm.

That was another characteristic that had changed in Harm. Before, his idea of relaxing was performing crazy stunts in his plane or something equally invigorating. He was so serious and cocky in his younger days whereas now he was more at ease and his confidence sprang from raising four happy, well-developed children.

His close relationship with all his children made Mac all the more angry at Dalton. Harm had a full-time career and four kids to raise alone and still he managed to ensure the children were well cared for both physically and emotionally, making time for each of them. Dalton didn't even have full-custody of Jacob yet he couldn't see to his only son for _one day_ let alone long term.

The children occupied themselves by playing ball with the dog while the adults took a stroll through the fields keeping the kids in sight. It was time they needed, a moment alone with no distractions. Eleven years had passed and Mac had now realised how Harm's steady presence in her life and in her heart was comforting and when she left, a piece of her was missing. She hoped to reclaim that piece- she was aware she might not ever have the close relationship she had hoped for in their years at JAG but their friendship was what mattered now.

They walked in silence for about ten minutes before Mac said, "You've done a good job with them."

Nick had organised a friendly dodge ball game and the younger four vivaciously played along. Mac had to congratulate the thirteen-year-old babysitter, she couldn't have done better herself. In fact, there was a time when she could barely control one child for ten minutes before things went downhill. Motherhood had tamed her from her Marine days.

"It can't have been easy raising four kids alone."

Harm smiled tenderly. "They're great kids, sure lone fatherhood hasn't been easy but they made certain it wasn't too hard." He focused on Jacob. "You haven't done too badly yourself, Jacob is a wonderful child."

"A wonderful child who has spent the majority of his life in hospital," sighed Mac. She could only wish her baby would enjoy the same impeccable health the four Rabb children delighted in.

"Come on, Mac, that isn't yours or his fault…though you might both benefit if you didn't baby him so much."

Mac glared at him for making such a Dalton-comment. She expected that kind of talk from her good-for-nothing ex not from the usually caring Harm. "Excuse me? 'Baby him'? He's a sick child; he needs to be babied. If his own mother doesn't look out for him, who the hell will?"

Harm remained, as ever, unfazed by her retort. Instead, he merely raised an eyebrow. "There's a different between 'looking out' for him and babying him, Mac."

"Oh yeah, and what is that difference, Harm?"

"You can't protect him for the world, Mac, you can only prepare him."

"I do."

"Is that why you're sending him to Ashlair School- a school for disabled kids? I don't think he needs to go to a school like that. He's not disabled, just sick. And what about not letting him learn to swim? Kids with a dialysis port like his can swim in chlorinated waters, so why don't you take him to a swimming pool?"

"And how do you know so much about this, _Doctor_ Rabb?!" She didn't mean to sound so harsh, but Mac didn't need anyone to tell her how to raise _her_ own child. She'd taken care of Jacob since his birth with virtually no help and she managed just fine.

Harm shrugged. "Hey, you aren't married to a doctor for eight years without learning anything. But I mean it, how can Jacob be confident in his own abilities if you are not confident in him? That doesn't apply to just a sick child like Jacob but for everyone. You know that, Mac…When you were younger, I doubt if you could have kicked the bottle if your Uncle Matt hadn't been confident that you could succeed."

He was right, the situation with her alcohol abusing teenage years was much the same as her circumstances with Jacob. She just didn't want to let her son go yet, she wasn't ready for him to enter the big, bad world and she was mad as hell at Harm for forcing her to consider that possibility. Damn him and his fairytale life.

"Mmm, so I see. Tell me then, Harm, how do you have perfect kids?" she sneered.

She was startled when Harm laughed. "Mac, I won't even pretend that my kids are perfect and I wouldn't want them to…Hell, Tom is obsessed with medicine and operations, and Kat hates any woman that looks at me, Nick had terrible nightmares about Meg's shooting and Benjy, well, Benjy is two…That is not a description of perfect angels but I try to make the best of it."

Mac shot him an incredulous look. "How do you make the best of having a son obsessed with medicine and operations?"

Harm grinned. "At least the boy has ambition and focus, not many parents' of eight-year-old boys can say that."

Mac allowed herself to return his smile, shaking her head. "I can't believe we're standing here talking about children. I never imagined us having this conversation when we were partners."

"Eleven years is a long time," he whispered. "We've both have changed, the time for discussing about what we had for lunch and how neurotic Annie is has long gone."

There was something in his tone that made Mac glanced sharply at him but she saw nothing. She was about to probe when the kids called out, wanting to eat. She was willing to let it go for now, nonetheless they would have to talk about that fateful day- April 16th 1997- soon. The past does not rest forever.

**********************************************************

Harm could have kicked himself for letting his anger slip. God, it was so stupid and immature of him to still bear some anger at Mac for leaving. Why? From her departure, he had gained a loving wife and four great kids. Where the hell did this anger come from?

Watching her with the kids as they ate their picnic made him wonder about a future that never occurred. He did think about what might have happened if Mac had never left. Would they have got married? Would they have had children? Guilty for thinking like this, for betraying Meg, he sighed and shoved a sandwich in his mouth.

Kat was eyeing Mac then handed the woman a cup of cola. "I poured it just for you, Mac," she smiled sweetly.

Harm's eyes narrowed. He loved his daughter and that love had enabled him to know her as well as he knew himself. The fact that Kat was being nice to Mac was suspicious in itself but the way the girl had clutched her little rucksack to her made him all the more dubious to her intentions.

"Kathryn, that was nice of you," Harm praised.

"Thank you, Daddy."

"Why don't you drink the cola and Mac can have orange instead? She likes that better."

Mac scowled. "No, I like the coke, Harm."

Harm's gaze did not leave his squirming daughter. "Kathryn, don't you want to coke?" His sons were giggled now. He sighed. "Okay, game's up, what is it? Show it to me now and the punishment won't be as bad, Skipper?" Kat pulled out a bottle from her rucksack and placed it on his outstretched hand. He read the label- a potent laxative. He should have known.

"I didn't mean it," mumbled the child, contritely.

"You didn't mean to pour laxatives in a glass of coke and then give the juice to Mac?" The girl shrugged as Mac watched open-mouthed. "What do you say to Mac?"

"Sorry," she muttered, not meeting Mac's eyes. It seemed to Harm that Kat was only sorry she had been caught.

He had been expecting problems to arise. He should have been grateful, Jordan fell foul to the laxative trick just a few days into their relationship, Mac at least had two weeks of peace. Children often found it difficult to accept a new person in their parent's life, only in Kat's case many would not suspect her to be so devious due to her young age. Harm knew different, Kat did not just exercise her MENSA level IQ on schoolwork.

"I'm going to have a little chat with my daughter, Mac, we'll be the van." He gathered the girl into his arms and headed for the minivan that was parked not far from the picnic spot.

As he walked off, he winced as he heard Tom proclaimed, "You should be glad it was just the laxative. The second time Kat did the drink thing with Jordan she used some kind of sedative drug. It was neat, from a doctor's point of view, of course."

"Neat?" parroted Mac.

"Yeah, she got high then she kinda collapsed. Dad wasn't laughing but we were."

"For a shrink, she sure can get high when she loses her inhibitions," smirked Nick.

Benjy chuckled. "Jordie was funny, she gotted loopy like spag'tti."

"I'll bet," muttered Mac.

**********************************************************

Kat sat inside the minivan, her feet dangling down. Harm took a seat by her side. The girl wouldn't look at him, just casting him sidelong glances when she thought he wasn't watching.

"Why did you do it, Skipper?" he asked gently. Getting angry wouldn't help either of them.

Kat heaved a sigh. "I don't like her, Daddy…"

"Why not?" Another sigh. "Did she beat you Did she hurt me or the boys?" This time he received a shake of the head. "Then what's the problem?"

"Don't wanna go to New Mexico."

Damn that Danny Handson's father. "Skipper…Kat, no one is going to send you to boarding school. Mac and I are just friends…"

Kat shook her head vigorously. "No, I can see it, Dad."

"See what?"

"You like her. You like her a bit like the way you liked Mommy. I know."

He couldn't believe he was having this conversation with a five-year-old. "I do, do I?"

"Yeah. You know in all those Disney films it's always the kids that set people up or know if the stepmother is evil, well it's real. We know everything."

"Kat-"

"We see everything," interjected Kat, "and if you marry her I'm moving out."

Harm hid a smirk. "Where will you go, Skipper?"

"I'll buy an apartment in Canada so no-one can get me and it'll just be me and Toby."

"Will it now?"

"Yeah."

Harm drew his daughter into a hug. "How about we make a deal?" It was ludicrous to hold credence to a five-year-old's threats to buy a house but he wanted to nip this in the bud and rule out any risk of Kat trying to runaway.

"What deal?" Kat's voice was muffled, her face resting against his chest.

"No you buying apartments or you going off by yourself if I promise….if I promise not to marrying Mac."

Kat pulled away to scrutinise him. "Really?! You promise?"

"Yes, I promise. No-one is more important to me than you guys, Katty. Us six are a team, remember?" Kat nodded. "Okay, no karate for two weeks."

"What?"

"Hey, you have to be punished, Skipper."

Harm watched his grumbling little girl join the others. He had made a promise to her- a deep promise and they worked on the understanding that promises were never broken. He just wondered if he had made the right choice. It wasn't as if he even considered marrying Mac both now or in the past…

**********************************************************

****

Matheson Karate Gymnasium

Washington DC

1832 EST, May 20th

Mac and Harm found themselves enjoying each other's company more and more as the days passed. They would frequently go out for a meal or to the cinemas, accompanied by the children or not. As Mac grew closer to Harm, she took into respect that he was still recovering from the loss of his wife not more than two years ago and it would not be plain sailing.

And still, neither brought up the events surrounding her departure. It was a taboo either because they did not wan to admit how much they meant to each other even back then or for fear of bringing up old ghosts. Both needed to talk about it but there was never a right time and Mac often wondered when the right time would appear.

One thing they did do was ensure both played an active part in each other's respective children. Unlike eleven years ago, they had a responsibility to their kids' happiness and if the children were happy with their parents' blooming relationship then they were happy. And so, Harm came to watch Jacob's chess tournaments while Mac went to Nick's basketball games and Tom's Little League games and science club meetings. She also had to become involved in Benjy's life in the form of stories and painting sessions. Then, as always, there was Kat…

Like any five-year-old, Kat had many interests but unlike many five-year-old girls she had absolutely no interest in 'girlish' activities like ballet or playing with dolls (helping Tom to 'operate' did not count). Living with three boys and her father, it was understandable and also Kat was a tom-boy pure and simple.

This suited Mac fine, she too was never very feminine in her childhood. She found it easy to relate to Kat's love of karate and swimming, she herself was a proficient kick-boxer. Mac had difficulty interacting with Harm's only daughter and swimming was not an ideal way to get to know the child as Kat kept swimming away with her friends whenever she saw Mac approach. If was when Kat's karate club was needing volunteers, Mac thought she found her avenue.

For the first half-hour of the night, Mac was entrusted with a group of eight- and nine-year-old beginners and it was only later on she had to opportunity to mix with Kat. The girl had been going to karate since she was four and was now on purple belt- not bad for a small child. Purple belt also meant full-contact moves.

As Kat's group was mainly children with ages ranging from five to ten, Mac was only given the barest of guard pads to protect her in her role as 'model' or more accurately, the mug who would be the punching bag for the kids. Everything was fine as each child took their turn to practice their punches and turning kicks…fine until it was Kat's turn.

"Hello, Mac," Kat smiled, ever-so-innocent. The same cherubic grin Jacob gave after stealing the cookies.

"Hi, Kat, how are you doing?"

"I'm fine. Y'know, it's really nice of you to help us out like this. Daddy usually helps out but it was nice of you to help as well."

"You're welcome."

"Then I'd better do my moves." Before Mac could reply, with all her strength the child began kicking and punching Mac, deliberately aiming for the pressure points. For such a little mite, the kid sure could pack one hell of a punch.

"Well done, Kathryn," praised the instructor from where she was watching. "You go for it, girl."

"Yes, Ma'am!" Kat smirked, not letting up on her assault.

It was in the changing room when a black-and-blue Mac tried to help Kat change from her karate suit to her regular clothes that the girl was once again openly confrontational.

Kat pulled away from her. "I can get changed myself, you're not my mother."

It was then that it actually clicked with Mac. Jacob had been so accepting of Harm because his father was alive but just did not give a damn and Harm was his first real experience of a loving father. However, Kat had a mother who _did_ love her and she was unwilling to allow any else to take her mother's place in either her heart or in Harm's. Kat had only been around two or three when Meg Rabb died, too young to really remember the woman. It was different for her brothers. The two older boys were old enough to realise the differences Meg played in their life and what Mac could eventually bring for them, and Benjy was just a baby too young to care.

Life could always be so damned complicated, especially when kids were involved.

"I know I'm not your mom, Kat, I could never take her place."

"No, you can't so you may as well quit trying. Playing sports with us and doing colouring with Benjy won't make us like you. My mom was better and you can't change that." For one so young she could seem years older.

"I'm not trying to."

"You are so." She smirked satanically in a smug way only a five-year-old could muster up. "And Daddy won't do anything with you, he told me so at the picnic. You may as well go back to Florida. He promised he wouldn't marry you."

At that, she stomped off leaving Mac pondering over just what Harm had said to his daughter to make her so adamant against their chances of a relationship and marriage (not that she'd thought of marriage, of course).

**********************************************************

****

Mac's Residence

Washington DC

1503 EST, June 21st

The children were outside playing with the dog in the park opposite Mac's apartment building. In the apartment, Harm and Mac were enjoying a few child-free hours. Watching the five kids at play from the living room window, Harm was pleased at how well they interacted together.

He had been worried about how Kat would treated Jacob- after all the boy was the son of Mac and she had made her feelings about Mac pretty clear (after the day Mac had come home covered in bruises after helping at Kat's karate club, that much was evident). However, Jacob seemed to be spared from falling victim to her wrath- to her, Jacob was just another boy. As for his sons, they all appeared to like Jacob; Nick saw him as another little brother, Benjy saw him as another big brother and as for Tom, he saw him as a medical opportunity but gradually that view changed to acceptance and friendship.

Harm had to admit when he heard Mac had given birth to her and Dalton's first child eight years ago, he presumed the kid would grow up to become a miniature Dalton- greedy, arrogant, spoilt. Far from that, Jacob was a genuinely nice child and Mac had done a terrific job raising him. At least, he had Meg's support and both had the same values to which they were going to bring up their children; Mac had to shield Jacob from her ex-husband's demoralising ways while teach the boy true values.

"What are they up to?" Mac asked, from the sofa where she sat with her attention divided between her files and him.

"Well, let's see: Nick is teaching Benjy to shoot hoops and he has a game going between him and Ben against Jacob and Kat while Tom has the poor dog wrapped in bandages. I just hope he hasn't got his tools with him."

Mac smiled but raised an eyebrow when he didn't smile back. "At least he'll make a great doctor some day," she appeased. She paused. "Kat and Jacob on the same team?"

"Yeah, it evens things up- tot and teen against the six- and eight-year-old."

"I know, but I still can't get over she actually liking Jacob."

"Kids, go figure. I suppose she just looks at Jacob as another kid. I think she likes him since he's not as warped as Tom or as annoying as Ben or as mature as Nicky."

"So it's just me she doesn't like," Mac concluded. Harm did not reply. "It does make quite the change- usually people don't like Jacob due to all his problems."

In her voice, he could hear her pain at the whole situation regarding his daughter. Although he was determined to remain understanding to Kat's needs, that didn't mean he couldn't comfort Mac. As they grew closer, Harm was starting to comprehend what his mother went through when she started dating Frank, his stepfather. He had been petulant and insolent to his stepfather both as a boy and when he reached adulthood. He just hoped he wouldn't have to deal with Kat's anger for that length of time.

Harm moved from the window to the sofa, sitting by Mac's side. "Mac, it's not that Kat doesn't like you, it's just that…"

"She doesn't want to betray her mother."

Harm sighed. "Yes, I guess that's true. I know what it's like for her, I was the same with my mom and Frank."

"From what I can remember things did not improve."

"No, they didn't." His face brightened into a smile. "Hey, but they say that girls are more forgiving."

Mac smirked. "Oh they do, huh? Shows how much 'they' know then." She stood up, stretching from the hours spent pouring over her files. "Do you want a coffee or something?"

"Sure-"

"Decaffeinated, no sugar, black…" She smiled at his astonishment. "I do remember, Harm."

Harm watched Mac go off into her kitchen. His gaze drifted around the living room. Despite spending so much time together over the past few months, they hadn't really stayed long in each other's respective homes. Mainly, they had gone out so it was nice to have a look at Mac's apartment unobserved. It was a chance to see how much his partner- _former_ partner had changed.

Before her apartment was devoid of photos as if she wanted to block out her previous experiences and no-one could blame her, she had been a child who witnessed her abusive father beat on her mother until the woman eventually ran off. It was not exactly a time someone would want to recollect. However, now there were framed photographs and portraits adorning the walls and displayed on the shelves. Mainly, they depicted Jacob from his infancy to his current age but there were also a photo of a woman who he assumed was her best friend Louise and a couple of pictures of herself as a baby.

There was a more homely ambience to the room, like Mac taken the time to add little touches such as ornaments and small trinkets. She was comfortable here whereas then the room had a dreary feel to it and she hardly spent time at home unless to hide away from him. Motherhood had certainly brought out the best in her.

Suddenly, his thoughts were broken off by the sound of the phone. When after three rings nobody answered, the system switched to answering machine mode. Before he could inform Mac someone was trying to reach her, the person on the other end spoke.

"Hey, Sarah, Louise here. Listen, can't talk for long, due in court soon. I'll pick you and the kiddo up at the airport on Saturday. Looking forward to seeing ya. Call later. Bye."

The phone disconnected. Harm scowled and looked up to see Mac was standing there holding two mugs of steaming coffee. From her expression, she knew he had heard the message too.

"When were you planning to tell me?" he asked, his voice as cool as ice. "When you were in Miami? When you were back in Dalton's arms?"

He felt betrayed. Here he was attempting to bridge the gap that had arisen between them, introduce her into his life and allowing his children to grow close to her all the time as she was planning to turn tail back to damn Miami. Maybe he shouldn't have been so quick to give into her, an eleven-year absence made his emotions command his mind…She left him then and she was going to leave him now.

"Harm…"

"You know, I can't believe you were just going to go off without telling me. I'm letting you into my life and the lives of my children but if you're just going to go back there then please let me know now."

Mac stared at Harm. It was clear by his words what he meant: _I still don't trust you entirely so don't ruin what trust I have built up._

Mac sighed. "You're right, I haven't been totally honest with you. Yes, Jacob and I are going back to Miami on Saturday but it's only for a vacation. I have friends and a house there and as much as you and I don't like it, Jacob has got to see his father, Dalton." She took one of the photos of herself as an infant and handed it to Harm. "She's also a reason I have to go back."

He gaped at the photo, not comprehending what she was trying to say. "This is you as a baby, is it not?"

Laughing without humour, Mac picked up another photo of the unidentified child. She touched the infant's face like it was velvet. "No…no…Harm, this is my daughter…" He could see the unshed tears pooling her deep brown eyes. "This is my baby girl, Jessica."

Harm could sense there was more to this than she let on. He frowned. "You have a daughter as well and you didn't tell me?"

She smirked, the smile not reaching her eyes. "You have four kids and you didn't tell me."

"Touché. Where is Jessica now?"

"At home, in Miami."

His blue eyes slit back in apparent cognition. "Is he with Dalton? Did he get custody of your daughter and you got your son?" That would be just like that jerk and from what he had learnt from Mac it was clear Dalton kept his emotional distance when it came to his sick son. It would fit his profile to take the healthy child and leave behind the 'damaged' one.

To his surprise, Mac shook her head, her eyes not leaving the photograph she now cradled in her hands. "No, Jessica isn't with Dalton…She's with the angels if you believe in that kind of thing. The angels who gave her to me then took her back long before her time. She was only ten months old. She died three years ago, Sunday will be the anniversary of her death. I need to be with her, Jacob needs to visit his sister."

"I'm so sorry, Mac." He stood up and held her to him, her head resting against his chest.

Harm sighed in sorrow. He felt like such an ass shouting at her when she was trying to deal with the death of her daughter. He knew the pain of losing someone, he had lost Meg at a time when they were raising a young family, but he could never imagine what it was to lose a child. It was different, Meg at least had lived a part of her life and she had left behind a legacy in the form of her children…what about Jessica- her ten months of life was nothing.

One never expected their child to die before them, that was a desire, or more of an entreatment or a plea, made by every parent the day their child is born. It wasn't fair for a young woman with a thriving family to die let alone a ten-month-old baby.

But then, whoever said life was fair.

"It must have been so hard," he consoled, still holding her. "How…how did she die?"

"Meningitis. She had always been so healthy, a perfect baby. It was so good, you know, after the problems we had with Jacob. It must have been too good to be true. One night I went to check on her she had a fever, by morning she was gone."

"How did Dalton cope?"

"Not so well. You see, he wasn't really good with Jacob- I think he was a nuisance in Dalton's mind, he was so sick and needed constant attention. To Dalton, that was attention taken away from the bimbos and his precious work. I guess Dalton wasn't ready for him."

It was ironic really. She had assumed eleven years ago it was Harm who wasn't ready for marriage and a family yet he was the one who had been successful in both. He was not only single-handedly raising one child but four- from an adolescent entering his turbulent teens to a toddler in his 'terrible twos' stage. Not to mention Nick wasn't his natural child though he treated him like the other three. And Dalton couldn't even handle his own son.

She continued. "But with Jessica, he loved her. He worshipped her. She was such a bright, happy baby. She had so much energy and didn't require constant supervision like Jacob. During the year she was with us, Jacob was quite ill so Dalton arranged it so I was with him and he had Jessica. He always took her everywhere; shopping, to the park, out in the car, even to Alaska fishing when she was just five months old. When she died, he threw himself into his work and his bimbos."

Oddly, Harm felt sympathy for the man. He hated him for ignoring his son but was sensitive to the fact he had lost the daughter he had obviously cared for very much. One thing was for certain, he wasn't going to abandon Mac when she needed him most.

"You shouldn't be alone, Mac. I have some time coming up, we can take all the kids down to Miami for Jessica…then perhaps, if you feel up to it, we should do something. I know with my four they need a reliever when it comes to the time of year Meg died, I always need a reliever too."

Mac drew back from him, contemplating what he said. "You'll come with us? You'll come to Miami?"

"Yes, if that's what you want."

"But what about Dalton?"

"What about him?"

"You'll have to see him."

"To help you through this, I'd force myself to see the devil. Look, I can be nice to him- he lost a child too and he _is _Jacob's father. Don't worry about me, Mac. I'm not that hot-headed kid you used to know."

She smiled, reaching to kiss his cheek. "Thank you, Harm, for being here for both me and my son…and I'd really appreciate it if you came to Miami with me."

Holding her, Harm pondered over the kiss. They hadn't shared physical contact at all since they had met three months ago other than a cuddle. It was strange, like re-affirming they were on their way to developing something more.

**********************************************************

****

Miami International Airport

Miami, Florida

1209 EST, June 28th

Although Mac had such a harrowing reason for visiting Miami, Louise couldn't help but be excited to see her best friend again. She had missed Mac and Jacob over the last few months they were in Washington, things were not the same without them. That was not the only incentive to see Mac- it seemed her recently-divorced friend had found herself a guy…and about time too.

Louise didn't know much about this new guy who was apparently named Harmon 'Harm' Rabb. Mac had just mentioned his name, the fact she knew him when she was in the military and when she came to pick them up from the airport she would need a large people-mover to transport them all. This request had Louise worrying, maybe Harm was grossly overweight or one of those poser men that needed to bring their wardrobe when on vacation (it would be just like Mac to go for a man that reminded her of the sleaze, Dalton).

"Hi, Auntie Louise!" screeched a hyperactive young voice.

Turning to the location of the hail, Louise soon saw exactly why a large people-mover was needed. Coming from the arrival gate was Mac lugging a luggage trolley that also carried Jacob. She was speaking to a tall, dark-haired, handsome man who was obviously Harm. However, Harm was not alone- far from it. He too had a luggage-laden trolley that held two small children- a toddler boy and a young girl- perched on the six suitcases. A young boy that appeared slightly older than Jacob was clutching Harm's hands while trying to dig into his rucksack for what seemed like medical tools. There was also a teenage boy that was playing a game of catch with the girl.

If her guess was right, it looked like Harm had four kids. Louise grinned, Mac must have loved that one. Sure, her friend was great with Jacob but Jacob was just _one_ child. Nonetheless, Harm did seem to have all the children under control. For a moment, it looked like the 'doctor' boy was about to attempt to operate on his smallest brother but one look from Harm and he meekly put his tools back in his bag.

Jacob jumped down from the trolley and threw himself at Louise. She caught the boy perfectly and held him.

"How's it going, kiddo?" she smiled.

"Great! It's real neat in DC, I get to go to a normal school, and Harm is teaching me to swim, and I went to see a real basketball game with Harm and the others, and Harm said we could go to Disney World, and…" He cast a glance back at his mother then whispered harshly. "I think my mom likes Harm a lot."

Harm had made quite an impression on Jacob. Louise was impressed; last time Mac was dating some jerk, he took off when he found out about Jacob's many medical conditions. Like all young boys being raised by a single mother, Jacob was quite protective of his mother and didn't take to all men but here he was extremely enthusiastic towards to Harm. It was about time Mac and the kid had some good luck.

Mac hugged Louise. "It's good to see you, Lou. I missed you."

"I missed you to, Sarah." Mac then introduced Louise to Harm and his four children.

"Are you sick?" asked the 'doctor' boy- whose name was Tom- with a sweet smile.

"Sick?" repeated Louise. "Why?"

"You look a little off colour."

Curious, Louise decided to indulge the boy. "I did have the flu last week."

Before the boy could respond, Harm smiled tolerantly at his son. "Tom, I don't think a flu requires surgery and if it did, I think Louise would want to see her own doctors. An eight-year-old surgeon is not exactly in demand these days."

"Aww," huffed Tom. "You'd think with the prices doctors charged people would be glad a dedicated 'junior' doctor offering them medical help for free."

Louise shot a questioning glance at Mac, who just grinned at her.

It took a long half-an-hour heaving five kids and two hefty lots of luggage into the people-mover but finally they made their way to Mac's house. The three bed-roomed house was not exactly spacious for seven people but they had managed to split the bedrooms up in such a way everyone fitted in. Mac and Jacob were taking her own room, the two older boys and Kat were to share Jacob's room, and that left the small guest room for Harm and Benjy. It was going to be a tight few days though Louise couldn't help but think how neatly the two families intertwined with one another.

By late afternoon, Harm and the boys were watching a basketball game on the television while Kat and Benjy occupied themselves with Jacob's computer. That left Louise alone to talk with Mac.

"So, your new friend seems very nice, Sarah," observed Louise, sipping her cocktail. "Very nice indeed."

The two women had commandeered the veranda away from men and kids to talk in peace. The sun was beating down and it was a typical Miami day, it felt good to be outside having a girl-chat like old times.

"Louise…" Mac said, with a distinct warning tone in her voice.

"What?" Louise shrugged helplessly.

"Don't 'what' me, I know exactly what you're thinking. I've learnt my lesson with Dalton, no more rushing things."

Great, _now_ she'd learnt her lesson. Dating all those useless jerks, she remained blissfully ignorant but now she finally had her hands on someone good and decent she wasn't going to rush things. Louise had given up on trying to understand Mac's twisted psyche.

"I like him, you like him, Jacob likes him…what's the problem?"

"Well, lets see: he's a widower still dealing with his wife's death, his daughter seems to think I'm the Anti-Christ, I'm still getting over a divorce, he hates my ex-husband and that's just for starters. Just think of the cost of sending five kids to college."

That was pretty damned well rehearsed. "Oh, Mac, don't give me that crap. You like him but you just don't want this to work. You're like those masochists; you like to punish yourself if your life is working out to well. All those problems you described can be fixed. For example, I think if he didn't want to be in a relationship he wouldn't be here now and two, you got over that divorce eight years ago- all that stuff lately is just the legal crap and thirdly, _I_ hate your ex-husband. Dalton is not exactly in danger of being voted 'Man Of The Year', is he now?"

"What about his daughter? Kat hates me."

"Five-year-olds' can be won over. Mac, you've dealt with businessmen worth over thirty million dollars and in charge of half the world's oil or whatever, you can sure as hell handle one tiny kid."

Mac snorted at this. "Yeah right. Louise, you haven't met this kid. She makes Damien look like Pollyanna."

"I thought you were meant to be the Anti-Christ." Mac gave her a dry look. "Okay, why don't you all do something together, give you a chance to know the girl."

"I did do something, a word of advice- never underestimate a five-year-old karate expert. And Harm never has to worry when Kat is a teenager, no mugger or rapist will dare mess with her."

"Okay, do something where Harm is nearby to keep an eye out. Louise grinned in amusement at how this tiny child had affected her friend- Mac having a grown woman with military training, her own experiences with a child and years as an attorney backing her. "Okay, do something where Harm is nearby to keep an eye out. Something with all of you."

"We are all going to Disney World on Monday."

"That's good but you should all go somewhere where you'll be alone, you know that in Disney World none of the kids will have any time for you, especially a kid that doesn't like you." She grinned, thinking of her own childhood and how her stepfather had won her and her sisters over. "Why don't you go camping in the Everglades? It's beautiful this time of year and it's not like you two are stupid, you're trained military officers, I reckon you could handle the Everglades."

"Camping?! What about Jacob?"

"Correct me if I'm wrong, but he only needs dialysis every other day and even then the machine is battery operated. It'd do him some good not to have to coddle him so much."

"That's what Harm said…"

Louise just smiled. Harm was good for Mac- already she could see changes in her friend and her godson. She was certain it was Harm would had convinced Sarah to send Jacob to a mainstream school and she could see the boy thrive under the new freedom he was slowly being allowed as the months progressed. Mac herself was relaxing, not seeing men as the plague and letting her guard down when it came to her son's independence. Louise, as a dutiful friend, wasn't about to permit Mac to let Harm go.

"I'll call my Uncle Ralph and get him to have a sea-plane and a pilot ready for on to go camping on Wednesday…It's not just you and Kat that need time, is it? You have some things you need to discuss with Harm."

Mac's brow furrowed. "How did you know?"

Ha, sometimes reading Mac was like reading an infant's picture book- her emotions could be so transparent. Louise could see Mac and Harm were getting on great but there was something holding them back, something that probably went back eleven years.

"I know, and he knows too." She smiled gently. "See Jessica tomorrow, then talk to Harm on Wednesday. Jessica taught you life is too short, listen to your baby girl's lesson."

**********************************************************

****

Saint Joseph's Cemetery

Miami, Florida

1532 EST, June 29th

In the weeks after Jessica's death, Mac obsessively visited her little girl's grave. It was a need, a compulsion to show her dead child she was not forgotten. As time progressed, she made it a ritual to visit on her birthday, holidays and the anniversary of her death.

She couldn't believe it had been a full three years since Jessica had left her. When she looked at Kathryn Rabb she wondered what her own daughter would have been like had she lived…she would have been almost four years old, in nursery school, talking and playing like any other toddler child. But instead, all that was left of her little Jessica was a few abandoned toys and a grave stone.

Mac had woken up depressed and mentally tired- the same feelings of lethargy that enveloped her on Jessica's anniversary. When it came time to visit her daughter's grave, Harm offered to accompany her and Jacob leaving Louise to look after his four. It felt so good to have moral support, in the previous years she purposely avoided going at times she knew Dalton would be there and only ended up feeling drained from dealing with her own grief as well as Jacob's.

Harm held Jacob's hand while Mac clutched a bouquet of flowers she had bought for her Jessica's grave. They strolled at a sedate pace through the cemetery when Mac stiffened as she saw Dalton standing by the grave so familiar to her. His flowers were already laid down and he was just looking at the stone embedded with his daughter's tiny face.

He turned and smiled gently when he saw his ex-wife and son, then scowled when he recognised Harm. "Hi there, Jakey," he said to his son.

"Hi, Daddy." The boy remained by Harm's side, only offering his father a smile.

"Sarah, how are you?"

"Good," replied Mac, giving him a quick hug.

"How is Washington?"

"Good, we both like it a lot."

"Changed much?"

"Same old, same old."

"Hmm…" He turned his attention to Harm. "Harm, it's…good to see you again."

Harm smiled congenially. "You too."

Mac was pleased to see Harm and Dalton behave cordially with one another. She had been worried how they would react to coming face-to-face, from previous experiences they weren't exactly best friends so much as worst enemies.

"Eh…I was wondering if I can take Jake out tomorrow, spend some time with my son."

It was another of their rituals. After Jessica's anniversary, Dalton always wanted to spend time with their son. It was the only time of year Jacob was guaranteed his father's devotion.

"We're all going to Disney World tomorrow, Dalton," Mac replied smoothly. She wasn't about to feel guilty for his lack of parental care. "I want Jacob to be with us."

"Yeah," grinned the eight-year-old. "I can't wait!"

"Who's 'we'?" Dalton asked, curiousity burning in his eyes.

"The two of us, Harm and his kids," Mac answered.

"You have kids?"

Harm nodded. "Yes, three boys and a girl. One of my sons is Jacob's age."

Dalton's eyes widened at the news of Harm fathering four children, Mac could empathise. "Oh…how about I take him on Tuesday then? He _is_ my son too, Sarah."

"Damn fine time for you to notice." Harm was squirming and Jacob was clinging to him. "Okay, you can have him on Tuesday if he wants to go. Where will you be taking him?"

"Busch Gardens, it's not too dangerous or scary for him." There he was underestimating Jacob yet again. Dalton crouched down in front of the boy. "What d'you say, Jakey? Do you feel up to going to Busch Gardens on Tuesday?"

"Will Leanne be there?" Jacob asked cautiously.

"No, it will just be us boys."

"Okay, Daddy." He tugged his father's hand. "Can Tom and Kat and Nick and Benjy come too? It'll be more fun that way, they're cool."

Dalton frowned. "Who's Tom and all those other people you mentioned, son?"

"They're my children," Harm supplied.

"Ah…" Dalton looked at his son's hopeful expression then sighed. "Well, if it's okay with their father then it's okay with me. Sure, your friends can too, Jake."

"Great!!!"

"I think Benjy is a little young," Harm interrupted, "but if the others want to, they can go."

Dalton nodded then waved them goodbye after arranging what time to pick up the children. Mac was almost impressed at his adult behaviour though saddened that this was the only time of year he could act like the 'responsible' adult he was rather than the carefree teenager he wished he was.

Everything was hushed now. Mac knelt down by her daughter's grave and Jacob hesitated a moment before joining her. Harm moved back to allow the mother and son time alone. Mac laid the flowers down and Jacob tentatively touched the stone.

"I brought you another letter, Jessi," Jacob said, pulled out an envelope from his jeans pockets and laying it against the stone. "I know you can't read but someone in Heaven can read it to you. I'll talk to you later." The boy got to his feet and went to Harm.

Mac smiled at her daughter's photo. "Hey, baby girl, its Mom here." A tear rolled down her cheek. "I just came to say hi, baby. I miss you so much…" She just knelt by her grave for a minute thinking of her ten months with Jessica and all that might have been. She fingered the engraved writings over the stone. "Mom will come back to see you soon…I love you so much, Jessica. Don't ever forget that…Bye-bye, baby."

She stood up and took one last look at the grave. Harm clasped her hand reassuringly, his other hand encasing Jacob's and they walked back to the gate opening leaving behind the gravestone etched with the words:

__

Jessica Louise Mackenzie-Lowne

August 16th 2004 to June 29th 2005

Dearly missed by Mommy, Daddy and brother Jacob

One less angel on Earth, one more angel in Heaven.

**********************************************************

****

Carlton Creak

Florida

1645 EST, July 3rd

"Don't wanna' go sucky camping," wailed Kat, flinging her tiny frame onto her father's legs.

Harm lifted her up. "Camping is fun, Katty, you'll enjoy it."

"What's so fun about being stuck in some woods with no computer or TV?"

Tom smirked. "Well, if anything bad happens at least you'll have a doctor on hand."

Kat regarded her brother for a second then wrapped her arms around Harm. "Daddy, I don't want Tom to operate on me. I want to stay in civi…civilsa…_civilisation_."

"Kat, we're not going to the Amazon, we're just going to the Everglades for a few days. And nothing bad is going to happen and even if it did Tom is _not_ operating on anyone."

"Good, 'cause I think I'd rather die."

"Good," Tom responded. "Then I can do an autopsy on your dead body. It'd be neat to have my first experience with chopping up the insides of a human body."

"Daddy, Tom gonna cut me," Benjy moaned from his pushchair. "Don' wanna' be cut."

It amazing how many things the toddler was capable of. Benjy was straining in his pushchair trying to reach the water under the pier, listening to the conversation and mashing a piece of play dough into his teddy's head. Mac noticed the teddy's leg and arm were entwined in bandages, no doubt at some point it fell wrath to Tom's medical streak.

Mac watched in amusement as Harm contended with his restless children. It had been an interesting couple of days and it was only going to get better. The trip to Disney World went perfectly compared to the terrible days Mac had taken Jacob alone. All the children had a wonderful time and this time when Jacob wanted to go on the rides too rigourous for his conditions Harm quickly put an stop to his demands by citing that Tom, Kat and Benjy weren't going either since they didn't meet the height requirements. Then Tom pointed out that there was a risk of hitting one's head on the high-speed rides and an accumulation of such incidents could lead to a higher risk of brain tumours in later life not to mention heart attacks and panic attacks. Harm had certainly raised a delightful child in Tom.

The trip to Disney World was not the only highlight of the vacation, not by a long shot. That spot was taken up by Dalton's excursion to Busch Garden's with the four elder children. Her ex-husband had been wary about taking the Rabb children along but Jacob was so excited to share the day with his friends. What Dalton didn't expect was that he was instantly enjoy the company of the kids. It was so ironic that his 'enemy' had the children he had always desired. The boys- Nick and Tom- were everything he could have wished Jacob to be, they were exuberant and energetic. And Kat was the child he yearned Jessica to have grown into had she lived.

On Dalton's pathetic behalf, she felt disgusted that the man would show more pride and connection with children he had only just met than with his own son. Yet Jacob did not seem to notice or care. It was only at night when Harm carried a giggling Tom and Jacob to bed (with his six foot four frame he could easily pick any of the kids like they were nothing) that she realised why. She listened, hidden in the shadows, as Harm told the boys a story from his days as a pilot then Jacob hugged him…hugged her former partner in the way a son hugged their father.

It was so touching...but at the same time she knew what had happened; Jacob had replaced Dalton with Harm. In her son's eyes, Harm was now his unofficial father and the boy was just waiting for her to verify the JAG officer's role in their lives. If she didn't know any better, he was waiting rather impatiently from the frowns she received at every missed opportunity with Harm. Still, she had the feeling Harm wasn't quite ready to be with her; there were issues to be worked out.

Mac hoped this trip to the Everglades would give them the chance to talk while allowing them to bond with the children.

Hauling Benjy from his pushchair and onto his shoulders, Harm lifted each of the younger children onto the seaplane that was waiting by the pier of the long river.

"Dad, are you sure about this? This thing looks like a death trap," commented Nick, hesitantly getting onto the plane unassisted.

Eyeing the plane uncertainly, Mac had to agree with the teenager. The seaplane looked like it would drop out of the sky at the first ascent. Then there was the ageing pilot who looked as if he hadn't had a bath since babyhood. He wheezed into the cockpit and into the pilot's chair.

Harm shrugged. "It should be okay, son. Remember your great-grandfather's plane Sarah is more than fifty years old and she flies like a dream. You're just too used to modern comfort."

"Yeah, but Sarah has like been restored over the years and when you fly, you don't look like you should be at an AA meeting instead of flying." Studying the pilot's dishevelled state, Harm swiftly tightened the childrens' seatbelts. "Oh, _that's_ very reassuring, Dad," muttered Nick.

Mac double checked Jacob's rucksack and dialysis bag. "Have you got everything, Jacob? Spare recharge batteries for the machine, spare bags of dianeal. And what about your inhaler and pills in case you have an asthma attack? I hope you're wearing sun block and insect repellent. And mind not to go in the water, you know you could get peritonitis from the dirty water."

"Yes, Mom!" Jacob said, rolling his brown eyes. "I'm not a complete baby."

The pilot threw a look over his shoulder. "You ready to go?" he muttered.

"Yes," replied Mac.

"Good good, little lady," leered the pilot, flashing her a row of yellow teeth.

Mac exchanged an amused glance with Harm. The children gaped out the windows as the plane revved up and skimmed across the river into the clear blue skies. The next fifteen minutes of the flight were spent by Harm entertaining them with stories from his childhood and Mac found herself joining in, managing to find a couple of amusing yarns of her own miserable youth.

Suddenly a sharp jolt shattered the banter of the passengers. It was followed by a series of halting stutters. Harm quickly unbuckled his seatbelt and scrutinised the wings from the window. When he turned to Mac, his face was pale and panicky.

"Something's up," he uttered. "The plane's stalling."

They had been a similar situation in the Appalachian Mountain twelve years ago and he had managed to keep his cool, they both had. But that time they didn't have the responsibility of children to worry about.

Harm swiftly checked the childrens' seatbelts and padded their bodies with cushions. The kids were now starting to pick up on Harm's mood change and were in turn terrified.

"Daddy, are we gonna die?" Kat asked brokenly.

"No, Kat, we're not. Not if I can help it. Stay here and don't move. Nick, watch out for the boys and your sister." Harm made a move for the cockpit.

"Where are you going, Dad?" Nick demanded.

"To help out. Stay here."

"I can help…"

"No, Nicholas…Please, son, just be good and stay put."

"Harm…" Mac reached out to him. He took her hand and held it for a moment, smiling, then rushed to the cockpit shutting the door behind him.

In that short second they had touched, she knew he was asking of her to take care of his children. In all the years she had known him, in all the few things anyone had asked of her, she never felt so moved…Harm had never given her such a responsibility, it took their relationship to new bounds. She just wondered if they'd live to see it through.

**********************************************************

****

Unknown Location In The Everglades

Florida

1718 EST, July 3rd

Her neck hurt like hell as did her lower back where no doubt the seatbelt had held in place. Mac soon became aware of hushed crying and she suddenly remembered- the plane crash! She opened her eyes to see Jacob, Tom and Kat huddled together whimpering softly. Nick had unbuckled Benjy from his seatbelt and now held the quivering tot in his arms, stunned.

"Momma!" Jacob pulled away and ran into her arms. "I thought you were dead," he said, crying into her shoulder.

Mac lifted the boy up and placed him back on his seat. She examined each child to ensure they were not injured; apart from a few bumps and bruises, they were lucky. Jacob was wheezing slightly, his asthma flared up at the shock, but his inhaler quickly halted the wheezing from developing into a full blown attack.

Nick stood up, still carrying Benjy's tiny form, and turned solemn blue eyes to Mac. "What about my dad? Do you…do you think he's alright?"

She noticed Tom and Kat direct her with unwavering stares. Mac stroked Benjy's soft cheek. "You kids stay here, I'm going up to the cockpit." Mac was more than aware of the fact that in a plane crash, especially since this plane wasn't even designed for landing on land, the pilots always took the brunt of the impact. From Nick's furrowed brow, she could see the teenager knew this too.

"I'm coming too," Tom declared, moving to join her. "I'm gonna see my dad."

Nick intercepted his younger brother, putting an arm on his shoulder to halt him. "No, Tom, I need you here to help me with Kat and Ben. You're into all the medical crap, you can help with first aid."

Tom's lower lip quivered, he bit it to hide his fear. "I-I don't see anyone needing first aid."

"Just go find the kit…Please, Tom…"

The eight-year-old nodded then headed to the tail of the seaplane. Mac exchanged a grateful glance with Nick. She knew the boy just didn't want his little brother to see what could be their father's dead body. Harm had said how earnest and sharp his eldest son was; he wasn't exaggerating.

Casting one last look at the children, Mac inched to the cockpit. She had never felt such inner turmoil, not since Jacob had been admitted to hospital at the age of three with complications and the possibility they might lose him. It wasn't fair, Mac and Harm had only just reaffirmed their lives together, they couldn't lose that now. Those four kids couldn't have their father taken away from them so soon after their mother's death.

Swallowing and gathering her wilted courage, Mac swung open the cockpit door. The sight that greeted her almost made her lunch of burgers and fries come back up. The pilot they had hired was slouched forward, glass gouging in his left eye and blood gushing from his head. She was sure she could see the gleam of white bone on the slit in his head. Feeling for a pulse, she wasn't surprised when she found nothing. Even if he was alive, she doubted he could have lasted long in such a condition.

Harm was slumped against the side window, his face sickly pale and eyes shut. At first, Mac was certain he was dead but sighed heavily with sheer relief when she located a weak yet steady throb in his neck. He moaned slightly at the touch.

"Harm?" she said, coaxing him to a greater level of consciousness. "Harm, can you hear me? You have to wake up, flyboy."

His eyelids fluttered then finally his blue orbs opened to half-mast position. "Mac…" he whispered in confusion.

"Do you remember what happened?" she asked, hoping he didn't have a serious head injury.

"Plane crash…" He suddenly gasped. "Kids?"

"They're alright, just a little shaken."

"You?"

"I'm fine too, I've survived the Appalachians with you. Did you think this would be a problem?" He grinned slightly then winced. "What about you? How do you feel, Harm?"

He groaned. "Leg hurts…so does chest and head. Leg hurts a lot."

Mac slid forward and ran her fingers down his chest. She had never been a first aid buff but when one had kids, one had a tendency to pay more attention to medical aspects. She instantly detected at least two broken ribs. She just prayed they hadn't punctured a lung or any other organ. There was a small gash on his temple, probably indicating a minor concussion since he regained consciousness so quickly. It was his right leg that made her gasp…Even from her precarious position she could see crimson liquid caking his jeans and a lump protruding through threatening to rip open the denim material had it not been so thick.

Compound fracture. She had watched enough medical programmes with Tom to recognise the injury. Unfortunately, first aid to this magnitude was not her forte. She could deal with asthma, kidney failure, bruises and cuts but not fractures.

"What's wrong?" Harm asked at her sudden silence.

"Harm, I think you have a compound fracture of your leg. The bone is sticking straight through the skin…I'm going to have to move you to get a better look."

Harm swallowed, paling. "That's gonna hurt like hell, huh?"

"I believe so. It will hurt less if you don't have to help so much. I can get Nick to help."

He looked up sharply. "I don't want my little boy seeing that man's body. Nicky may be the eldest and grown up for his age but he's still a child, only thirteen years old. He still hasn't got over Meg's death and he didn't even witness it."

The little speech left him breathless and dizzy. Mac could see he was struggling to hold himself up so as not to frighten her or the kids.

"I know Nick is just a boy but he's the only one capable of helping. The other four are far too little…Harm, Nick can do this, give your son credit. We can cover up the body so he doesn't have to see it."

He sighed. "Okay…but don't force him."

"I won't…Just relax, I'll be back in a minute."

Mac made sure he was as comfortable as possible in his position, covering him with the pilot's thin jacket before slipping back to the passenger section where the children were waiting impatiently for her.

"Where's my dad?" asked Kat.

"Is he okay?" Tom wanted to know.

Nick just watched, attending to his baby brother. He set Benjy down and tilted his head. "So?"

"The pilot's dead but your dad's okay. He's broken his leg and a couple of ribs."

"What kind of fracture?" Tom asked, ever the junior medic. "Open or closed? Is it a normal fracture or a compound?"

"Uh, it's a compound, Tom."

"T-that means he's losing blood."

Mac smoothed the boy's dark hair. "Your dad's going to be fine, Tom. Us military types can get through anything. Nick, can you give me a hand to move your dad to here? He needs the space. Tom, can you find blankets for him and us and have that first aid kit ready? Jacob, can you clear these seats so we can lay Harm down on them?"

"What can I do?" piped Kat. She didn't want to seem like a baby in front of the others.

"Can you look after Ben while I'm away?" Nick said with a smile. "Keep a close eye on Benjy, he'll run off if you don't."

"Okay, Nicky, I can do that," grinned Kat, satisfied to be helping. "If he don't listen to me, I'll use my karate stuff on him."

Nick followed Mac to the cockpit. Before letting the boy to enter, she covered the pilot's body with the jacket she had used for Harm. When Nick did come in, his eyes fell to the pilot's hidden frame then straight to his father.

"Dad!" he exclaimed, squeezing Harm's shoulder. "How are ya feeling, Dad?"

Harm offered his son a smile. "Not too bad, Nicky. How are the little ones?"

"Okay, Benjy was crying a bit but he's alright now…Are we going to move you?"

"Yeah, I think so."

Mac took his hand. "I won't kid you, Harm, this is gonna hurt like hell."

"I know, but what choice do I have?"

It took a long half-an-hour to move Harm from the cockpit to the passenger seats. He was in desperate pain at the action and jostling around but he bit back his cries for the childrens' sake. Using two metal tent poles and a bundle of jumpers, she created a gently split around his leg so the bones couldn't budge then she covered him with thick blankets to ward of shock. Mac dressed his head wound and strapped his ribs using the bandages from the kit.

"How are you feeling?" she asked.

"Hurts…" he murmured back, barely conscious. He had used up his reserve energy and was now exhausted.

Tom extracted three Tylenol tablets from the first aid kit and handed them to his father with a bottle of water. "You're only meant to have two at a time," he explained, "but in my medical opinion I think three would be justified under the circumstances."

Harm gulped down the pain relievers. "You'll make a great doctor someday, boy-o."

Mac had to agree. It had been Tom who suggested strapping Harm's ribs when they had no efficient pain killers and Tom had made a ice pack for Harm's head from the ice from the refrigeration box in the plane. No bad for an eight-year-old kid.

Gradually, as fatigue won over, Harm fell into a deep sleep. Mac knew sleep was not exactly recommended for concussed patients but she couldn't keep him awake when he was so tired. She just had to settle for waking him every few hours and pray his concussion wasn't anything more.

"Tom, you have a watch with an alarm?" she asked, knowing how much Tom wanted to participate in Harm's medical needs.

"Yeah," the boy replied, holding his digital watch. "It's Casio, my dad bought for me for Christmas."

"Okay, set your alarm to go off in three hours so we can wake your dad up." The boy complied immediately. "Now, kids, I know this is scary but I need you all to behave for me. Can you do that?" They all nodded obediently. "Good. Now we will get out of this. Tom, I want you and Kat to stay here with your dad and make sure he doesn't get feverish or anything. Call me if you think he's getting worse. Jacob, watch over Benjy. Read him a book or something, just keep him occupied. Nick and I are going to take a look at the radio and that."

She didn't want to push the kids nor could she pamper them in this situation. They all had to do their parts. She deliberately told Tom to look out for Harm since he seemed the most medically able and Kat would behave if she were close to her father. That left Jacob in charge of the impish little Benjy. Who would have thought her babied little son would be playing babysitter? If only Dalton could see him now…

Harm had told her on occasion that Nick had often taken the controls when he went up in his plane, Sarah. It would also seem logical Harm would have taught his son emergency procedures so the teenager would assist her.

Harm had done his part, he had got them down safely. Now it was her turn to get them all out of here alive.

**********************************************************

****

Unknown Location In The Everglades

Florida

2020 EST, July 3rd

"Harm…? Harm, wake up now. You have to wake up."

"Hhmmm…I'm tired."

"I know you are but you have to wake up…The kids will be scared if all you do is sleep."

Guessing correctly at what could manipulate Harm into a more wakeful state, he grudgingly opened his eyes. His eyes were slightly dilated and it took a moment for him to focus on Mac. When she was sure he had regained his faculties she stepped back into the seat opposite him.

"How are you feeling, Harm?" she asked.

"Like hell…" he muttered, groaning slightly as he shifted his weight.

Mac was not surprised. His leg was severely broken but she did not want to even attempt to realign the bones in his condition. His breathing was slightly wheezy, probably the broken ribs irritating his lungs. Using Jacob's peak flow monitor he used to regulate his asthma, Mac discovered Harm's lung capacity was below normal for a healthy male his age; she just hoped he wouldn't develop a pneumothorax. He was also a little dehydrated from the blood loss.

She gently coaxed him into drinking some of the vile rehydrating solution in the first aid kit then gave him some Tylenol. The medicine was not exactly meant for injuries as serious as Harm's but Mac hoped it would at least put a dent in the pain.

"Where's…kids?" Harm asked weakly.

"They're all outside, Nick's got them all taking part in a interactive story…You have a great kid there, he's been so helpful."

"I know, he's a good boy," he smiled. "We still here then?"

"Yes, the emergency equipment and the ELT were destroyed in the crash. The radio was damaged but your 'good boy' thinks he might be able to fix it." Mac wasn't sure if she should leave such a delicate job to a thirteen-year-old boy. She may not have much of a clue when it came to reconstructing radios but Nick was still just a child, making childish toy cars and planes was simple compared to what he was asking to attempt.

Harm seemed to sense her uncertainty. "Nick had always been into mechanics and electronics. If he thinks he could do this we should let him try unless you took a course in electronics and never told me."

Mac grinned. "Maybe you're right, I'll look after you and the kids and Nick can work on the radio."

"Do you think you can manage?" At Mac's frown, he elaborated. "Do you think you can handle the kids?"

Insulted, Mac shot back. "Excuse me, but I have raised a dependant child not to badly and I was mother to two kids under six when Jessica was alive. I can take care of them and I'm offended you don't trust me." God, she had hoped they had moved past this business of trust and confidence when it came to the children.

At this, Harm laughed quietly until the pain of his ribs halted his humour. Mac was starting to wonder if his concussion was causing some kind of madness when he said, "You are- were a _Marine_, I know you can take care of my children. I'm asking if you can handle them…I suppose I should make myself clear. I know Nick won't give you any problems and Tom will be okay as long as you keep his tools away from him and me but the little ones. Benjy is two, I know for a fact you said Jacob spent most of his toddler years in hospital seriously ill. Let me assure you Benjy is not going to be anything like Jacob, if you don't watch him like a hawk he'll leave you for dust…And what about Kat?"

This little speech had worn him out and Mac could see he was tiring. "Harm, sleep. I'll be fine. Just you worry about getting better."

"…'kay, just be careful…"

Once he was asleep, Mac shook her head with a smile. He underestimated her and her 'Momma' skills. Oh, she could handle the boys, even little Benjy. It was Kat was she worried about.

**********************************************************

****

Unknown Location In The Everglades

Florida

2234 EST, July 3rd

"Okay, guys, time for bed."

Mac would have to admit that just after two hours alone with the five children, she admired the hell out of Harm. How he managed to raise four kids by himself without ending up in prison for murder was nothing short of a miracle. Nick was ever the angel once she put him off his idea of hiking to find help and Tom was on his best behaviour after she told him on no uncertain terms he could not operate on Harm. Jacob was determined to keep up with the others and almost gave his mother a heart attack twice when firstly he climbed a tree and had problems getting down until Nick helped him then again when he was about to dive into a lake Tom had discovered not far from the crash.

That was the three older boys. Trouble did not discriminate when it came to age. Mac had discovered that when she spent half-an-hour searching for a hiding Benjy only to find the toddler giggling under a bush. Then, deciding he was not through, Benjy threw a major tantrum when Mac told him their dog Toby could not sprout wings and fly down to see him. At the force of the anger, anyone would think Mac was beating the child or in the very least deliberately keeping Toby away from him. Luckily, Benjy fell asleep at around nine o'clock giving her time to recover before dealing with the other four.

"D'we have to?" whined Tom.

"Yeah," agreed Jacob. "Can't we not stay up a little while longer? It's too neat out here."

"No, boys, bedtime now. You've all had a rough day and you need your sleep. Tomorrow we have to be up bright and early to see if we can get out of this mess."

Nick stood up without argument and crawled into one of the two tents they had pitched earlier. After some discussion, it was decided Nick and Kat would share one tent, and Tom and Jacob the other. Benjy and Harm would sleep in the plane while Mac would divide her time between checking up on the children and watching over Harm.

"What about rabid animals or psychopaths wandering in the woods looking for poor crash victims like us?" asked Tom. "I don't want to become another statistic in 'America's Most Wanted'."

"Don't worry I'll be watching out for you." Mac pulled out her gun. "And so will my friend."

Tom grinned then retreated to his tent followed by Jacob. Mac bit back her reminder to Jacob to dialyse himself. She trusted him and would check on him later just to make sure, it made him feel less infantile if she didn't treat him like a baby.

Mac turned her attention to Kat who just sat where she was, not moving a muscle and giving no sign she had heard her.

"Kat, time for bed." The girl did not move, continuing to play with her laptop. "Kat, I'm not in the mood with playing with you. I'm serious, get to your bed."

"Mac, want me to come kick her ass?" Nick asked helpfully from his tent.

"No thank you, Nick. I can handle this."

She had no choice by to deal with Kat's disobedience and defiance alone. Mac readily admitted that she too was manipulative and bitchy in her childhood (and well into her adulthood, which Harm could attest to) and she knew she could not give into Kat. But she also knew she couldn't handle Kat in the same way she could if it was Jacob who had the problem.

It was time to work out boundaries.

Mac snatched the laptop from Kat's tiny hands and snapped it shut. Resisting the urge to throw the computer into the bushes, Mac was proud of her restraint when she simply placed on the steps of the seaplane's entrance.

"That was mine," Kat glowered, standing up and stomping her feet.

"Well, not any more. It's time for your bed."

"You're not my mother, you can't order me around."

On one hand, Mac would have liked nothing better than to drag the little brat into the tent and on the other, she understood where Kat was coming from. The girl was quite unlike any five-year-old she had met. Harm had said his daughter was extraordinarily gifted with an IQ ranging in the hundred and fifties, not to mention growing in a house full of boys and no mother must have strengthened her resolve. Mac couldn't pretend Kat was an average child; she would have to consider that heightened intelligence and maturity when dealing with Kat.

"You're right, Kat," she said. "I'm not your mother, am I? I can't order you around." Kat's eyes lit in victory but her face was tilted as if expecting the trick. "So how about I go wake up your dad and get him to send you to bed?"

Kat scowled. "Daddy's hurt, he's sleeping."

"Yes, exactly…but it seems as if you will only listen to your father."

"I think that's blackmail. There's a law against that."

"You're right." She reached to touch the girl's baby-smooth cheek but Kat moved out of her touch. "Why don't you want me to be with your dad? What are you afraid of, Kat?"

"Boarding school in New Mexico," replied Kat, seriously.

"What? Well, whatever's the matter we can't go on like this so what are we to do?" the five-year-old shrugged. "Hmm, how about we make a contract?"

"A contract?" Kat repeated doubtfully. "I know what it is but _how_ can that help us?"

"That way both our needs are protected."

Kat mulled over it for a moment. "Okay, just so long as you don't dump on me."

Watching Mac intently, the child retrieved her laptop and opened a word processing program. Over the next ten minutes, the pair drew up a contract agreeing Mac would be in charge of bedtimes if Kat was allowed to read herself to sleep. They made a list of other such arrangements.

"There," Mac said, "that's it. Is there anything else you want to add?" Kat hesitated. "Kat? What's wrong? You want to add something else? Tell me and we'll put it in."

"Do you, you know, love my dad?" the youngster asked, making a face at the word 'love'.

"Yes, I do."

"Are you going to marry him?"

"I don't know, I don't think Harm and I have thought about that yet."

"Are you gonna leave?" Kat questioned solemnly.

"What?"

"You left before. I heard my Auntie Harriet and Uncle Bud talking about it. You left my dad years ago and he was sad. When my mom died he was sad and I didn't like it, I want him to be happy. If you leave he'll be sad again."

Mac tentatively put her hand on the girl's shoulder. Surprisingly, Kat let it be. "I won't leave Harm again, I won't leave any of you." She was wondering how to put the complexity of the last eleven years in a way Kat could understand. "It was hard for me to leave eleven years ago, Kat…and it was wrong."

Kat wasn't going to let her off that easy. "If it was wrong, why did you do it? If I know an answer is wrong in maths, I don't write it down. That would be stupid."

Oh, for the logic of a five-year-old. "Well, adults can be stupid too, Kat. I guess I wasn't ready to be with your dad then, I needed to be away. I didn't know it wouldn't work out."

"Are you ready for Daddy now?"

"I hope so."

The child stood up, nodding. "Okay…but if you leave him, if make him sad then I'll make you sad too…"

Mac smiled slightly. The girl was loyal, she had to give her that much. So much like Harm. Mac watched Kat crawl into her tent. They had made progress today, more progress than they had done in the past months Mac had entered the girl's life and the lives of her family. This was the first time Mac had really interacted with Harm's only daughter. It felt good to achieve something, to gain this child's trust. Theirs was sure to be a rocky friendship but Mac believed it could grow stronger in time.

Of course, unknowingly Kat had also let slip something that had been blemishing Mac and Harm's chance of moving closer...There was still much uncertainty and mistrust behind Harm's feeling towards her and her return, and they would have to discuss it soon before things exploded around them.

**********************************************************

****

Unknown Location In The Everglades

Florida

0521 EST, July 4th

Harm felt like shit. He had been in a few accidents in his life- childhood falls, the infamous F-14 crash that led to him quit flying, being knocked down- but this had to be the worse. At least in the other instances he was either unconscious or near some decent pain meds which allowed him to drift into a painless slumber.

Now, he wanted to chew his leg off, quit breathing to give his poor ribs a break and drill a hole in his head to stop the goddamn headache boring into the depths of his mind. He couldn't shift into a comfortable position anymore and he felt hot and sticky.

Suddenly, a cool compress was laid across his scorching forehead. He sighed in relief.

"You have a fever, Harm," explained Mac, gently.

"Feel like crap…" he groaned.

"I know, I know. You just gotta hang on. We're gonna get out of here, I promise."

"How are…the kids behaving?" he gasped out around the four pain tablets Mac fed him.

"Good, they were all good. I think even Kat and I have reached an understanding."

"Wow, gotta…declare World Peace." He sobered, gaining a little more focus. "How is radio going?"

"It's not fixed yet, I'm afraid, but Nick will do it. He's a bright boy. We _will _get out of here, Harm. I'm not going to die in the goddamn Florida Everglades when I can get out of war-torn Bosnia without a scratch."

In silence, Mac added more padding to his leg bandage, and washed and re-dressed his head wound. Once she lifted his head up to give him some water, he collapsed back down blinking back the dizziness.

"In the words Tom is so fond of, 'this is sucks'." He wanted to sleep so badly but the pain just made him want to throw up.

Mac gazed at him thoughtfully. "How about we have a talk, flyboy? It might make you feel better."

"Sure." Mac's little stories always made him feel better. Hell, anything had to be better than this unyielding pain. "About what?"

"There has been something that's been bothering me for a while but I don't know if now is that time or place to ask."

"You've never been shy before, Mac, why start now? Now is the time or place, it's not like there's much else to do."

"Okay, why did you never call?"

Harm could feel what little blood he had in his face drain away. On second thoughts, sleep was good. He didn't want to discuss this; he wasn't ready.

"Why did you never call after I left JAG?" she persisted. "I left several messages and such. Why did you never answer?"

His eyes skittered away. God, it was his job to ask the difficult questions, to get her to open up. Why couldn't Mac just let this rest? She used to say he was obsessive about his father and certain cases but sometimes he wondered if she was just projecting. It seemed to him she could be pretty damned obsessive when it suited her.

Trying a partial shrug, Harm sighed. "You said not to call…not 'til things had calmed down…They never did, not for me." He couldn't believe he just said that. "You have no idea what it was like…seeing you with Dalton then you going off with him." He must be delirious; he never would have shared this Mac otherwise.

Mac looked stunned then her own brown eyes narrowed. "Hey, you were the one playing happy families with Annie first."

"Don't bring Annie into this," he warned. "At least I didn't shoot through with her, I didn't throw in my career with her."

Now Mac was positively pissed. Good, now she knew what he felt like eleven years ago. 

"Throw in my career? From the looks of things back then, I thought you would be the one to shoot through just because Neurotic Annie didn't like the Navy. You talk about what it was like for you seeing me with Dalton, you have no clue. How the hell do you think I felt when I watched you with Josh? I made it clear back then I wanted more from out partnership, our friendship but still you stayed happily with Annie and Josh."

"Clear?" Harm tried to sit up but his ribs forced him back down. "Clear?! All I got from you was how wonderful Such-and-such was and how cute Mister Whoever was. You were never clear with me unless you were in a pissy mood."

"Well, Commander…_Captain_, that's because you were so obsessive compulsive. I knew I didn't stand a chance against obsessions like your father."

Harm turned away. It was bad enough she was lowering herself to bring up Annie but this…he couldn't deal with this. Years ago he made a decision regarding his father and though he never regretted what he gained from that decision, he did feel an inordinate amount of guilt.

"Leave my father out of this, Mac," he whispered. His anger oozed from him only to leave exhaustion and fever.

Mac picked up on his change of mood for she dipped the compress in cold water then re-applied it. "I'm sorry, you're sick and I shouldn't make you feel worse. Just rest."

He snorted. Rest wasn't in his vocabulary- all he wanted to do was just die, to escape the never-ending pain. "It hurts too much to sleep," he murmured.

He stiffened slightly when she tenderly smoothed his sweaty hair back. Gradually, he relaxed. It felt good to be cared for. Being a single father of four, after Meg died, he was forced to tough it out when he was sick.

"You never told me if you ever found your father," she gently asked.

"I…I don't know if he's alive. A couple of months after you left and I met Meg, I got some information…It told me he had been held in some camp in Russia but I didn't know if he was alive or not…or even if he was still there." He could still remember that day with striking clarity. He was closer to his long-lost father than he had ever been. He felt like that five-year-old boy again, who just found out his daddy was going to be home for his birthday.

"What happened?" Mac probed.

"I was starting to get so close to Meg…and little Nicky. It was different, not like Annie." He felt contrite but he never felt as close to Annie as he had for Meg. The same was true for their respective sons- Josh was always like a nephew or a friend's child to him whereas he looked to Nick as his son almost from day one. "I was planning to go to Russia, I wanted to find my dad so much but…"

"Yes?" she nudged.

"The day before I was going Nick turned to me…he turned to me and called me Daddy. Before he always called me Harm but it was like he knew…I think if I had gone things would never have worked out for Meg and I…She wasn't happy with me going off to Russia, said it was too dangerous. But that day Nicky called me Daddy, it put things into prospective. I was the father now…I couldn't act like an irresponsible kid. I think my dad would have understood."

His eyes were at half-mast now and he was fighting sleep. He didn't want to sleep feeling like crap but he wasn't getting much of a choice. His body was shutting down.

"If he was anything like his son, I'm sure he would have." Mac stroked his cheek. "I'm glad Meg was good for helping you," she whispered. "Maybe it was fate for you to meet her."

He wondered what would have happened if he never met Meg, if Mac had stayed. They both would likely have gone to Russia and he could have brought his father home…or knowing his luck, they probably would have been shot down.

"And maybe it was fate we met up again…" Before she could question him further, he was asleep.

**********************************************************

****

Unknown Location In The Everglades

Florida

1041 EST, July 4th

"Where's my daddy?"

"Want Daddy! Want Daddy now!"

The children had been up bright and early at eight o'clock. Nick immediately went to work on the radio while the two eight-year-olds' occupied themselves with exploring. However, Kat and Benjy were bored and fidgety for their father. Also, to make matters worse, Harm's condition had deteriorated over the morning. His temperature was about 101º when she last checked an hour ago and he seemed to be in a state of semi-consciousness, never quite awake.

A sick feeling was churning in her stomach. She and Harm had been through a lot- before, during, and after their partnership at JAG. There reached a point when they might have pushed fate too hard. Mac was starting to think Harm wouldn't make it through this. He was in terrible pain with serious injuries, maybe the knowledge she loved him and he had four great kids was not enough to give him the strength to survive.

Needing to check on him again, she had to find a way to keep the younger two engaged. "Jacob! Tom!" Mac called for the boys who appeared from behind some trees.

"Yeah?" they asked simultaneously.

"I want you two to look after Kat and Ben."

"But they're boring," whined Jacob.

"They don't do anything," complained Tom a second later. "They're such babies."

Sometimes Mac yearned for the days when Jacob was more introverted and did whatever she asked of him without hesitation.

"Just do it," ordered Mac. "And you had better not bully them or I'll be _very_ mad." She marched away leaving the two boys grudgingly dragging Kat and Benjy behind them.

As she walked to the downed seaplane she could hear Tom mutter, "Jeez, your mom can be kinda bossy and mad."

"Tell me about," agreed Jacob. "You should have seen her when she found out about my dad and Leanne. Just as well my dad was a good runner."

Smirking inwardly, Mac couldn't help but think sometimes playing the part of Marine Major was a hell more effective than the role of Mommy.

When she reached Harm's side, all amusement drained from her. He looked so sickly and weak, a far cry from the energetic and healthy Navy captain she had come to love. His features were blanched, all except his cheeks and the tips of his ears indicative of high fever. His breathing was now wheezy and shallow.

"Harm…" Mac whispered. No response. "Harm?" she said more forcefully.

She stuck an aural thermometer into his left ear cursing when she saw his temperature had raised to 104.8º. Thanking God for remembering to pack Jacob's kit, which she used to monitor his blood pressure at times when his kidneys were playing up, she wrapped the cuff around Harm's upper arm. His pressure was low, a sign that shock and/or severe blood loss was evident. She felt for his pulse; it was shallow and thready increasing her concerns.

"Come on, Harm, wake up!" she said, slapping his cheeks lightly. "Time to wake up."

His eyes fluttered, then slowly opened to half-mast. His eyes were dilated to the point Mac could barely see his beautiful cerulean blue iris'.

"I was getting worried there, flyboy," Mac smiled tightly, stroking his feverish brow. "How are you feeling?"

"Tired…" he said, his voice no more than a hoarse whisper. "Hurts…a lot…Mac."

"I know, I know, but don't go quitting. You'll be fine."

Harm reached out and touched her cheek lightly. "Mac…I love and…trust you…"

"I know, Harm," she whispered back, puzzled at his impromptu declaration. "I love you too." She could hear the children excitedly squealing outside but blocked out their noises.

"Want…you to…take care…of kids for me," he gasped out.

"No, Harm. Don't do this, you'll be fine to see to them yourself. Harm…?"

He smiled then his hand dropped from her limply, his chest deathly still. She shook him, lying her head on his chest. There was no heartbeat.

Angry at the stupid plane, mad at God for doing this to them and furious at Harm for quitting, Mac tilting his head back and breathed two deep breaths into him. She then compressed his breastbone.

"You won't do this to me," she muttered like a mad woman, between breathing for him. "You won't come into my life after eleven long goddamn years then die of a damn broken leg. You won't leave those kids without-"

Just then, Nick sprinted into the plane, a wide smile smeared across his lips. "Hey, Mac, Dad, there's a plane…" He trailed off when he saw Mac performing CPR on his limp father. "Dad?" He swallowed, moving to dive onto Harm.

Mac's sharp words stopped him. "What's wrong?"

"T-there's a plane flying closeby."

"Use the flare gun now, Nick! You know what to do. Your dad will be fine."

The boy, looking all of four years old with bewilderment and fear washing through his earnest blue eyes, faltered for a moment then nodded curtly. He dashed off, sparing one last look at his dad and Mac.

"Don't make me be a liar, Harm," Mac pleaded continuing with the CPR.

Suddenly, after three or four minutes in cardiac arrest, Harm gasped. Wanting- needing to be closer to him, Mac gathered him up in her arms. She heard the distinctive hiss of the flare gun being fired and the cheers of the four oblivious younger children.

"You'll be fine," Mac murmured into Harm's dark hair. "It'll be okay."

She realised she was praying that her words of encouragement would be true not just for the childrens' sakes but for her own. After eleven years of living without him, Mac couldn't imagine a life which Harm wasn't part of.

**********************************************************

****

Carrington Memorial Hospital

Jacksonville, Florida

1527 EST, July 4th

Thanks to Nick's quick actions, the search plane had seen the flare and had dispatched a rescue unit which arrived an hour later. It had taken about fifteen minutes for them to be transported to a hospital where Harm was promptly whisked off to surgery.

Now Mac had to deal with five anxious children. Benjy and Kat had been clingy but had thankfully been rocked to sleep and where now sprawled across a bed in a small private room a doctor had been kind enough to let them stay in. No such luck with the older boys. Jacob was nervous, biting his lip and indulging in his annoying habit of shredding a magazine into little strips. He didn't want to lose the man he was starting to love like a father.

As for Tom, he was just plain paranoid and agitated. Frequently, he was dart off to harass some poor nurse or doctor passing in the corridor for news. Then he would interrogate her about Harm and his survival rate.

"Have you ever seen that film, 'Coma'?" he asked, almost innocently.

Mac knew there was more to his little question and immediately the plot of the film and its relevance to Harm clicked. "Tom, this is a good hospital. I don't think the doctor here are involved in illegal organ donation conspiracies."

"You don't know that."

"But people can be allergic to anaesthetic? It makes their hearts stop or something."

"Your dad will be fine, Tom. I doubt if he has that type of allergy."

"You don't know until it's too late," Tom pointed out, his dark eyes slitted back in suspicion. "Then when you've had your allergic attack, they'll use your organs in their conspiracies…I think I should go in and assist."

Mac smiled at the uncertain boy. He was a sweet child, reminding her so much of Harm when he was on an emotionally trying case. Looking at Tom, Mac felt like he was an insight to Harm as an eight-year-old child.

Tom sighed, blinking away tears. "Mac, I…I don't think I want to be a doctor any more."

"Why not?" Mac knew the exact reason why but she didn't want for Tom to abandon his dreams and ambitions for if he did that, he would be giving up on Harm. Back in the forest, she hadn't told the younger kids about Harm going into cardiac arrest nor had Nick but Tom wasn't stupid. He was more than aware his father's condition was serious. "Doctors help people, Tom."

"No, they didn't help my mom and they might not be able to help my dad."

Mac drew the boy closer, holding him. "Tom, your mother was very seriously injured when she was shot. It wasn't the doctors' fault she died, sometimes people get tired and they know it's their time to go." She hoped she was explaining this properly in a way that wouldn't hurt Tom. "But your dad just needs some time, he's sick but they can fix him. He went a long time in that forest, he won't leave you now. You know, one time he was knocked down by a car and that night he helped save a hijacked hospital and deliver a baby. He's strong, just like you."

Tom clung to her for a minute then struggled free, the emotional surge of the moment gone. Children were resilient and Tom was no different for any other kid his age. Bored of waiting, he and Jacob ran off to find the television in the main waiting room.

Alone with the two sleeping youngsters and Nick, Mac studied the silent teenager. He was sitting on a chair, hugging his knees to his chest. Though he was never as talkative as his brother and sister- Tom and Kat- Nick was unusually sullen since arriving at the hospital.

He had been a huge help in the Everglades, Mac could never had coped with the situation by herself. For one so young, he was so grown-up compared to some adults she knew. Harm had commented that Nick was hoping to join the FBI or such when he was old enough, but Mac could tell he would be dearly valued as a military officer if the boy ever decided to follow in his father's footsteps. His calm, collected attitude would help him climb the ranks as fast as Harm had.

But for now, he was only a thirteen-year-old boy and Mac was worried for him. He had seen her struggle to keep his only living parent alive and it was an understatement to say that must have shaken him up.

"Nick, are you okay?" Mac asked.

Nick didn't reply for a moment. "I saw them do that CPR stuff on my mom on the hospital, the night she died…What chance does my dad have if he had it in the bush?"

Mac suddenly realised what he was saying. "You saw it happen? You saw your mom shot?" Did Harm know his son had been dealing with this? No wonder the boy had nightmares.

"No…we were there to pick my mom up. We heard the shot…I just knew it was Mom somehow." He sighed. "I ran to see…Doctor Kildare stopped me from seeing her…but I saw them through the windows…There was lots of blood and they were doing CPR. It didn't work…I know, you know."

"Know what?"

"Not everything turns out rosy and great. I just wonder, what will happen to us if Dad dies? We'll be alone."

Taking his hands tightly, Mac shook her head. "You'll never be alone, Nick. You've got your grandparents, your Grandpa AJ, Auntie Harriet and Uncle Bud, your Auntie Terri and Uncle Mic…and you've got me. I'll never let you guys go."

He grinned. "I take it that means no boarding school in New Mexico?"

There was a story behind this obsession with boarding schools and New Mexico. "No, no schools in New Mexico…" Mac paused. "Nick, did you ever tell your dad about what you saw the night your mom died?"

"Yeah." He grinned faintly. "How did you think he met that weirdo Jordan?…He made me see someone and we talked about it…I won't ever forget what I saw but I feel better about it now."

Mac smiled back. God, Harm had done so well with his children. She just prayed he would be there to see them grow up.

Her thoughts were interrupted when Doctor Peter Landell, the physician that had tended to Harm in the ER, knocked and entered the room. By now, the two eight-year-olds were trailing in after the tall greying man.

Landell shook hands with Mac and took a seat opposite her. "Okay, Ms Mackenzie, your…partner pulled through the surgery just fine," he smiled. The three boys cheered and the doctor's grin broadened. "We put pins to keep his tibia in place and they should be removed in about six weeks time. As you know, he also suffered broken ribs, one of which slightly punctured his lung but that has all been taken care of." He turned to Tom and tousled the boy's dark hair. "You did well, son. The nurses told me it was your idea to strap the ribs."

"It was on 'Medics' last week," explained Tom.

"Well, you'll make a fine doctor someday, boy." Tom had a thoughtful frown but said nothing.

"What about his fever?" Mac asked.

"Captain Rabb developed an infection due to the open wound of his leg. Antibiotics will take care of that. We have given him a few units of blood to top him up too. The concussion was minor and baring complications, I have little doubt he'll make a full recovery."

"So my dad will be fine?" Tom quizzed. He had been able to follow the conversation well and the worry on the boy's angelic face had eased.

Landell nodded with a smile. "Yes, son, your dad will be fine. He'll be moved to a room soon and I'll send someone down to inform you when you can see him."

**********************************************************

****

Carrington Memorial Hospital

Jacksonville, Florida

1702 EST, July 4th

There was an odd beeping noise by his head…it was very annoying. His alarm clock? Was he late for work? He should get the kids ready for school…No, he was in a crash…a plane crash? Then he realised he was lying on something softer, not as hard as the seats of the seaplane…

Other noises pervaded his senses. More blipping sounds, the chatter of his children and Mac. The throbbing pain in his head had not dissipated and there was a scratchy feel to his throat but the excruciating agony of his leg and chest was gone…

Harm decided it was time to jump in on the fun. With all his strength, he forced his eyelids open to find himself lying on a hospital bed. By his side, Nick and Kat sat on either side of Mac who had Benjy on her knee. She was reading a story to the younger pair while Nick flicked through a magazine. At the foot of his bed, he could see Tom and Jacob's attention firmly on the television watching some cop show.

Suddenly Mac looked up from the storybook and dazzled him with a wide smile. "Welcome back, Harm. You have some little people waiting impatiently for you."

"Daddy!"

Kat tried to clamber up to see him, standing on her chair. He ruffled her dark hair gracing her with a smile. Mac held Benjy up so the toddler could give his dad a kiss. The two-year-old was clapping and cooed excitedly, not really understanding the big fuss but getting in the mood of the others.

Tom and Jacob dashed over and Harm grinned at both his boys (Jacob- his _boy_? When had that happened?).

"What's up, guys?" he croaked.

As Mac fed him some deliciously cool ice chips to suck, Tom jumped up and down ecstatically. "Guess what, Dad? I don't want to be a surgeon anymore!"

Harm sighed in relief inwardly. Good, now he could put away those damn medical tools in case Tom did get any ideas of performing 'surgery' on some poor unsuspecting soul. However, before Harm could air his approval Tom continued.

"I wanna be a pathologist. It's so much cooler chopping up dead bodies, so much more neater than helping boring sick people. Great, huh? I can cut up bodies and do neat stuff like help catch bad guys for the cops or the FBI." He faced Nick. "I could even work with you, Nicky, sometimes. Y'know, when you're in the FBI too, I could help cut up your murder victims"

"Gee," Nick muttered non-too-enthusiastically, "that's _real_ neat, Tommy."

That was Harm's sentiments exactly. Poor FBI, they wouldn't know what hit them. Poor bad guys- if the Feds weren't quick enough once Tom was finished with the dead, he's moved onto them.

"W-what happened?" Harm asked in confusion. "How did we get here?"

"We, or should I say Nick, spotted a search plane. They choppered us to Jacksonville."

Harm gazed at his eldest son solemnly. "You did good, Nick. Very good, son. You saved all our lives, especially mine."

Nick shrugged with a bashful smile. "It was nothing, Dad. It was kinda neat bein' out there, next time we skip the crash part though."

His father grinned. "I second that."

Harm's eyes drooped a little as exhaustion and pain caught up with him once more. Mac must have noticed for she ushered the children away.

"You dad needs his rest now, kids, you can see him later. Why don't you guys go to our little room and I'll come see you in a minute to get you some supper?"

Nick took Benjy into his arms and slipped through the door with Tom and Jacob. Kat lingered for a moment, glancing at Harm through watery blue eyes. Mac smiled at her, giving the child a quick hug.

"It'll be okay, Kat." With that, Kat followed her brothers.

Once the children were gone, Harm smiled at Mac as she re-took her chair. "I'm impressed…Last time I checked you weren't Katty's favourite person."

Mac raised an eyebrow. "Let's just say us girls have reached an understanding. I think you have another lawyer in the family there, Harm."

Harm had to admit he was deeply grateful Mac and his daughter had worked out their differences. He loved Mac with all his heart, in the same kind of way he loved Meg, but although Kat was only five years old, his obligation was to his child. He could never have more with a person one of the children hated. However, that wasn't a problem anymore…

"Well done."

"I have my own techniques with kiddies…" She sobered. "You know, I thought we lost you there for a minute…After everything, it looked bad."

"I'm fine, Mac, or I will be." He reached and took her hand. "I may not be the most religious of people but I do believe in fate and you know what I see?"

"What do you see, Psychic One?" she smiled.

"That someone's trying to tell us something; we've survived a helluva JAG partnership, eleven longs years apart and a plane crash. We're meant to be together. Fate wants it that way."

As he drifted off to sleep, Mac sighed in tranquillity. "Then we shouldn't let Fate down one more time."

**********************************************************

****

Harm And Mac's Residence

Washington DC

0128 EST, November 4th

Life settled down quickly afterwards. The crash was a turning point in their relationship. Harm knew it would have devastated what they had built up after an eleven-year absence but instead if anything it strength the bonds they had forged in the partnership at JAG.

In the weeks following the crash, Mac and Jacob moved into Harm's home to help in his recuperation. Raising four kids was bad enough, raising four kids with a smashed leg and broken ribs was another. Then somewhere along the lines the house changed from Harm's house to Harm _and_ Mac's house. Another connection. They weren't in accord with marriage, neither wanted to go down that travelled road. Their commitment to each other was enough, they didn't need a piece of paper to confirm their love.

The children instantaneously accepted Jacob as another brother, the only complaint coming from Kat about being the only girl in a house with four boys. Harm had the distinct feeling that the kids say each other as siblings long before he and Mac had, kids were intuitive that way. Then on Benjy's third birthday in October, they welcomed a new member into the family. Fudge the cat may have been Benjy's pet officially but she won her furry way into everyones' hearts, even Toby's.

Now, in the early hours of the morning, Harm and Mac lay in front of the fireplace enjoying the peace and quiet of the silent house. The children were sound asleep in their respective bedrooms and the cat and dog lounged beside the two adults in the living room.

In a few hours soon after dawn, the house would come to life again when Benjy would wake up demanding their attention closely followed by his elder siblings. But for now, it was relaxing to just sit while knowing the children were safe in bed and all was well. Hell, things hadn't been easy for them to begin with and both Harm and Mac had learned to appreciate the peace.

"Well, I never thought this would be my idea of happiness," murmured Mac, sighing in contentment. "Told me that eleven years ago and I would have laughed in your face."

"Same here," Harm agreed. "My idea of happiness was in the cockpit of an F-14 doing five hundred knots."

Mac glanced up to the family portrait that hung above the mantle piece. It included all seven of them and the pets; it really was a work of art, her most prized material possession. It emphasised their completeness, their happiness.

"You know, we have everything possible, Harm. Everything we could possibly hope for."

"Mmm…I don't know about that one, Mac."

She frowned. God, could she have been wrong? Maybe he hadn't grieved for Meg properly or…

He held her tightly, distinguishing her worries. His eyes were firmly on the portrait- his five children, their five children. Five? Four boys and a girl…it wasn't really fair, not to mention he was one for even numbers.

He grinned slightly at Mac. "I think it would be a shame to let that eighth bedroom go to waste, don't you?"

****

The End???

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

There- it's done. My quickest piece. It took me ages to do the first part of Murphy's Law and it only took about six or seven weeks to do this so tell me if it was worth it. I don't think I'll do a sequel to this since it might be too sickly sweet but it's not an impossibility but I am planning to do one like this for The X-Files with Mulder being the proud daddy.

Along the JAG front, I'm working on a post-episode to 'Goodbyes' and another story about why Harm actually wanted to leave JAG and it isn't the reason you all think. These are what Claire and I call 'nice' stories. My not-so-nice story, From Light Comes Darkness, should be finished soon so 'til next time, folks…

   [1]: mailto:m.a.jooty@dundee.ac.uk



End file.
